Sep. 20th, 2016


Sep. 20th, 2016 04:22 pm
ladysprite: (new)
The biggest challenge with pleuritis and pericarditis? It's exhausting.... but that's it.

I'm not so miserable with fever and chills and nausea and extraneous misery that I don't care. I'm not zoned out of my gourd on drugs and unable to think or focus. I'm tired, like all the time. And I'm in a low-grade panic state because I can't get enough oxygen, which is scary. And breathing aches and hurts and feels like doing tricep pushups, only in my entire chest. (NB: tricep pushups are the WORST)

But.... mentally? I'm a bit slow around the edges, but otherwise here. And so the worst challenge I'm facing right now is utter, mind-numbing boredom. Which is almost impossible to alleviate, because having company over means talking and talking means running out of air. Walking? Ditto. Shopping? same.

I've been making do - I've had a couple of low-key guests who have been able to come and entertain me and keep me company. And I'm getting better, at a glacial pace. But I tried to go back to work for a 9-5 shift yesterday and wound up blacking out and falling on my backside in the middle of the treatment area, and while I survived my two house calls today I have bailed on cooking dinner for our tabletop group because I don't trust myself to do that much knifework unsupervised and unspelled.

On the other hand, while I may loathe this much downtime, it's probably good for me. I've had time for introspection. I'm mostly done with the first unit of my hospice certification program. I've gotten some reading and crafting done - including a bunch of handspun yarn to enter into the Topsfield Fair's spinning competition. I've started working back on a crafting project that I had set aside for half a year because it was too teeny and fussy.

I need to find a way to hit some kind of balance with my life and my body that doesn't include working one until the other collapses.....


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