ladysprite: (new)
[personal profile] ladysprite
Once again, I fail at keeping up here. Partly it's time; partly it's habit - I'm just not in the pattern of writing here daily, and the more I miss the harder it is to re-start. I miss having a place to just keep track of daily life, and I'll try again, and I'll probably slip again, but this is better than nothing.

This week is the two-year anniversary of my first silks class; now I'm in Level 5 (as high as they go before you go into the schools pro-prep program). I still have a ton to learn, and I'm at the bottom of my class again - mostly because this is my first time in this level and with this teacher, while the rest of the students have been up here for a while. It's hard to hold on to my confidence when I spend most of the class having to remind the teacher that I have no idea what she's talking about when she says 'just crotch the fabric, wrap like for a back-dive, and then do a pencil descent,' but... I'm three weeks in and surviving, so I think I can do it.

I've also been gently informed that it's about freaking time for me to start thinking about performing. So, because I am me and I am obsessed with planning everything way the hell in advance and down to the last millimeter, I'm working with a teacher on choreo for something that'll probably see stage time this coming spring.

I was boggled at just how much this is giving me the heebie-jeebies, until I realized that this is the first time in over 20 years that I have volunteered to perform. Every time I've been on stage, it's been at someone else's request. I was press-ganged into Commedia, asked to pitch in with variety acts for burlesque, tapped for choreography or performance aid for SCA events... I've never had to actually take a deep breath, stand up, and declare that, in my own opinion with no outside validation, I am good enough and talented enough to take up space and time on a stage. And that's a hell of a lot scarier than hanging by my ankles 20 feet above the ground.

Of course, that's also why I really probably ought to do this, too. Whether or not I have the aerial chops, I need to stretch my self-validation. Doesn't make it easy, though.....

Date: 2016-09-09 03:07 am (UTC)
citabria: Photo of me backlit, smiling (Default)
From: [personal profile] citabria
I've been wondering if you'd thought about performing at all and am glad someone brought it up. That's pretty darned awesome!

Date: 2016-09-09 09:01 am (UTC)

Date: 2016-09-09 08:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagibbs.livejournal.com
I've had dance teachers ask whether, or hint that, I should think about either performing or competing. That has never been my interest, not what I want to focus my dance time on.

Also, yay for moving up to level 5! It is harder, though, to be at the bottom of the class, rather than the top.

Date: 2016-09-09 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] browngirl.livejournal.com
Enh, you just have larger spacing between your long and meaty entries. That's not failing!

Date: 2016-09-10 04:30 am (UTC)
darkoni: (Default)
From: [personal profile] darkoni
I have no doubt that you are good enough. With the amount of dedication that you put behind everything you do, I believe you can do anything you set your mind to.

Date: 2016-09-13 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] johnpalmer.livejournal.com
Choosing to perform, and deciding that you ought to, are both big things and worthy of savoring as victories... just so you know.

Date: 2016-09-13 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vettecat.livejournal.com
Go you! What kind of performance? Does the teacher arrange a show for the students?

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