ladysprite: (new)
[personal profile] ladysprite
Last night should have been amazing. I had dinner with a handful of friends whom I don't get to see near often enough, and we laughed and joked and talked about games and horror movies and the show we were going to see. And then there was a Postmodern Jukebox concert, and it should have been awesome.

Except.... it was good, but not enough to erase the deaths that have been slamming my community for the past week. And in retrospect maybe loud and crowded isn't what I needed. And why was the guy next to me on his phone for the whole thing, while the person in front of me kept getting up to walk in and out of the concert hall?

And afterwards, it felt like everyone in the hall was there to be actively mean to me. Looking at the merchandise table, someone felt the need to push me and tell me that they were in line and I was trying to cheat my way in front of her. I left, so she could buy her damn t-shirt without my heinously offensive presence, and paused on the sidewalk outside the line of traffic to try to collect my cope.... and someone else walked out, went out of their way to shove past me, and made snarky comments about the apparently heinous crime of standing on the sidewalk. And I just fell apart.

I'm not surprised; between still recuperating from sickness, multiple deaths, exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and multiple triggers, I was overdue for a PTSD breakdown. And [ profile] umbran was there to help me through the worst of it. He wrapped me up and coaxed me into moving and shielded me from the people and kept me upright and talked to me as we headed back towards the T station.

And when we were almost there, cutting through the edge of the Commons, we found the labyrinth.

Someone had chalked a labyrinth onto the walking path. Huge and complex and intricate and waiting. And I started walking it. And a few turns in I felt my shoulders relax and a few turns later I could feel myself focus again, and by the time I reached the center I could see the world clearly again, instead of through the lens that told me everyone was attacking me. It wasn't a perfect and instant cure, but it helped more than I thought anything could.

Arnis says we can move the cars and draw a labyrinth on our driveway, in case it helps in the future - and that, if it does, we can paint it there more permanently. I don't know if it'll help in the long run or if this was just a fluke, but I'll try anything....

Date: 2016-10-07 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I just found this, and it seems deeply relevant to your interests:

Date: 2016-10-07 04:45 pm (UTC)
mermaidlady: heraldic mermaid in her vanity (Default)
From: [personal profile] mermaidlady
There's also a labyrinth (not on the list) at the Heritage Museum and Gardens. It's a lovely place and well worth visiting when they reopen in the spring.

Date: 2016-10-07 02:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so glad you found the labyrinth. I think there's a great metaphor in there about how complicated it is to just walk through life with all the things that loom up at us from the path, but mostly I'm just grateful it was there when you needed it.

*sending you strength*

Date: 2016-10-07 03:22 pm (UTC)
phi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] phi
Labyrinths are hugely therapeutic for me. I'm glad stumbling on the one you found helped you.

Date: 2016-10-07 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Labyrinths are a wonderful thing. I'm glad you found that one when it was needed.

There's a simple one that's easy to draw if you need one right away:

Date: 2016-10-07 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yay for labyrinths! I've never done one, but it makes a kind of sense that it could focus your mind and body on something else, pulling you away from what's ailing you at the moment.

Date: 2016-10-08 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I like labyrinths. I have three of them in my house -- painted on the landings in the stairs. They're not walkable, though.

Date: 2016-10-09 03:38 am (UTC)
citabria: Photo of me backlit, smiling (Default)
From: [personal profile] citabria
I'm glad you posted this, on many levels. I forget how calming labyrinths are, even though there are several within a reasonable drive from here. I've been somewhat out of touch this week because of a local death that's triggered my own PTSD (or, if not PTSD, something darned close) big time and am sorry to hear that you're facing something similar.

Last but definitely not least, I'm glad you found that labyrinth.

Date: 2017-01-17 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Now I'm imagining you as one of the princesses of Amber.


ladysprite: (Default)

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