No offense, but can my cow be cooked, please? I don't do rare beef ;)

Seriously, don't sweat yourself for a Big Expensive Wedding. Doing what makes YOU happy is far more important. If your mom wants you to have the Big Fancy Wedding, you can tell her she's more than welcome to pay the $40K it would cost, naturally, but...

Heck, it's YOUR day, not HERS.