Crispy
So May Day (the Generic Local SCA Event of the Season) is over, and I have survived my first sunburn of the season - in spite of slathering what little visible skin I had with sunscreen; I need to remember that my astoundingly pale self needs more than SPF 15. On the other hand, at least I managed to avoid having my first swooning episode of the season, by virtue of many friends pushing water on me in spite of my fairly grumpy resistance to good advice.
I have also survived my first gut-wrenching terror of the year. I'm not quite sure when I developed the crushing social phobia, or how. I know that I've always been anxious having to get up in front of people and be stared at, but I'm sure I remember hot being this crippled by it. On the other hand, in the past I've usually been acting the few times I've actually been on stage, and that's just... different somehow. It feels more like people are looking at the character, instead of at me. It's a stupid distinction, I know, but it's real enough to make a difference in my head.
But now I am full of sunshine and sushi and socializing, all of which is good and fun but fairly exhausting. And as much as I want to sit here and examine the inside of my head and try to explain my inner workings to myself, that should probably wait for a time when I am less exhausted and more clear-sighted. Right now, I think the most challenging task I'm willing to confront is trying to find a way to put lotion on my shoulders without gooing my hair beyond reason....
I have also survived my first gut-wrenching terror of the year. I'm not quite sure when I developed the crushing social phobia, or how. I know that I've always been anxious having to get up in front of people and be stared at, but I'm sure I remember hot being this crippled by it. On the other hand, in the past I've usually been acting the few times I've actually been on stage, and that's just... different somehow. It feels more like people are looking at the character, instead of at me. It's a stupid distinction, I know, but it's real enough to make a difference in my head.
But now I am full of sunshine and sushi and socializing, all of which is good and fun but fairly exhausting. And as much as I want to sit here and examine the inside of my head and try to explain my inner workings to myself, that should probably wait for a time when I am less exhausted and more clear-sighted. Right now, I think the most challenging task I'm willing to confront is trying to find a way to put lotion on my shoulders without gooing my hair beyond reason....