State of the Knee, Round 3
I made it back to the orthopedist today, and he poked my knee and bent it back and forth, and came to a pretty quick conclusion.
The good news is that he doesn't think it's a recurrence of the synovial plica, and that I don't need more surgery.
The bad news is that I'm developing arthritis, and that I'm pretty much stuck with it for the rest of my life. Oh, he made noises about how, if I feel like it, I can try taking glucosamine and anti-inflammatories and going to physical therapy, but he seemed to think that these were all pretty much just busy-work to make me feel like I'm doing something, and that he doesn't actually expect any of them to help. His final pronouncement was that the best I can hope for is to eventually reach a point where I have more good days than bad ones.
I suppose it could be worse, and I suppose I should be grateful that this is such a livable problem. But.... I'm not.
Damnit, I'm too young to have a permanent problem like this! I'm 32, not 82. I'm thin, I'm fairly muscular, I eat a healthy diet, I'm in an active job, and I exercise regularly. Isn't that supposed to keep you healthy? Isn't that supposed to protect you from crap like this?
I'm not ready to stop moving. I *like* walking, and dancing, and doing yoga, and climbing trees, and a whole host of other things. I'm not ready to just sit down and accept a life of pain and limited mobility. If I were 80, maybe I could swallow it without a problem, though I'm inclined to think that even then I'd be too damn stubborn to surrender quietly. But now? I've only just started my life, it's not fair to make me stop doing things already.
I know this is stupid of me, and that there are people out there with problems that are so much worse, and I'm being selfish and ungrateful, but I can't help it. I'm doing everything I can - I've started mainlining glucosamine, and I'm already taking as much Advil as I can handle, and I'm trying to get through to the physical therapist to make an appointment, but apparently even with all this it's not going to make much of a difference.
Not fair, not fair, not fair. I almost wish it *was* something surgical, because at least then I'd have a chance at getting better. Tomorrow I'll put on a happy face and have faith that I'll still manage what I call for my patients a Decent Quality of Life, but today I think I need a little time to wallow....
The good news is that he doesn't think it's a recurrence of the synovial plica, and that I don't need more surgery.
The bad news is that I'm developing arthritis, and that I'm pretty much stuck with it for the rest of my life. Oh, he made noises about how, if I feel like it, I can try taking glucosamine and anti-inflammatories and going to physical therapy, but he seemed to think that these were all pretty much just busy-work to make me feel like I'm doing something, and that he doesn't actually expect any of them to help. His final pronouncement was that the best I can hope for is to eventually reach a point where I have more good days than bad ones.
I suppose it could be worse, and I suppose I should be grateful that this is such a livable problem. But.... I'm not.
Damnit, I'm too young to have a permanent problem like this! I'm 32, not 82. I'm thin, I'm fairly muscular, I eat a healthy diet, I'm in an active job, and I exercise regularly. Isn't that supposed to keep you healthy? Isn't that supposed to protect you from crap like this?
I'm not ready to stop moving. I *like* walking, and dancing, and doing yoga, and climbing trees, and a whole host of other things. I'm not ready to just sit down and accept a life of pain and limited mobility. If I were 80, maybe I could swallow it without a problem, though I'm inclined to think that even then I'd be too damn stubborn to surrender quietly. But now? I've only just started my life, it's not fair to make me stop doing things already.
I know this is stupid of me, and that there are people out there with problems that are so much worse, and I'm being selfish and ungrateful, but I can't help it. I'm doing everything I can - I've started mainlining glucosamine, and I'm already taking as much Advil as I can handle, and I'm trying to get through to the physical therapist to make an appointment, but apparently even with all this it's not going to make much of a difference.
Not fair, not fair, not fair. I almost wish it *was* something surgical, because at least then I'd have a chance at getting better. Tomorrow I'll put on a happy face and have faith that I'll still manage what I call for my patients a Decent Quality of Life, but today I think I need a little time to wallow....
