State of the Knee, Round 3

[ladysprite]

I made it back to the orthopedist today, and he poked my knee and bent it back and forth, and came to a pretty quick conclusion.

The good news is that he doesn't think it's a recurrence of the synovial plica, and that I don't need more surgery.

The bad news is that I'm developing arthritis, and that I'm pretty much stuck with it for the rest of my life. Oh, he made noises about how, if I feel like it, I can try taking glucosamine and anti-inflammatories and going to physical therapy, but he seemed to think that these were all pretty much just busy-work to make me feel like I'm doing something, and that he doesn't actually expect any of them to help. His final pronouncement was that the best I can hope for is to eventually reach a point where I have more good days than bad ones.

I suppose it could be worse, and I suppose I should be grateful that this is such a livable problem. But.... I'm not.

Damnit, I'm too young to have a permanent problem like this! I'm 32, not 82. I'm thin, I'm fairly muscular, I eat a healthy diet, I'm in an active job, and I exercise regularly. Isn't that supposed to keep you healthy? Isn't that supposed to protect you from crap like this?

I'm not ready to stop moving. I *like* walking, and dancing, and doing yoga, and climbing trees, and a whole host of other things. I'm not ready to just sit down and accept a life of pain and limited mobility. If I were 80, maybe I could swallow it without a problem, though I'm inclined to think that even then I'd be too damn stubborn to surrender quietly. But now? I've only just started my life, it's not fair to make me stop doing things already.

I know this is stupid of me, and that there are people out there with problems that are so much worse, and I'm being selfish and ungrateful, but I can't help it. I'm doing everything I can - I've started mainlining glucosamine, and I'm already taking as much Advil as I can handle, and I'm trying to get through to the physical therapist to make an appointment, but apparently even with all this it's not going to make much of a difference.

Not fair, not fair, not fair. I almost wish it *was* something surgical, because at least then I'd have a chance at getting better. Tomorrow I'll put on a happy face and have faith that I'll still manage what I call for my patients a Decent Quality of Life, but today I think I need a little time to wallow....

Comments

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Mmm...I would think that low-impact exercise (like yoga) is GOOD for arthritis.

Hugs.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Yeah, so would I. But the doctor specifically told me that I would probably never be able to do yoga again. He says that it might push the patella out of alignment.

This is probably the worst part for me. I've come to rely on yoga for the meditation and mental stability it provides - I feel like I'm being told that I have to choose between being sane and being able to walk...

[sjo.livejournal.com]

I think you need a 2nd opinion there, because that sounds like errant bullshit to me. Exercise of a gentle nature is good for the body. You'd KNOW if you were pushing your patella out of alignment... no way you could miss that level of pain.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Working on it - the doctor was very fatalistic, and I let myself accept his mindset. But seeing all the advice here, I'm working on getting a second opinion from another doctor. If I can find someone who can 1) confirm the diagnosis and 2) actually work with me on a positive outlook and a plan for making this better, I'll feel a lot less dismal.

Thank you for making the suggestion....

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm sure.

The diet bit above sounds promising too

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

I concur with sjo -- get a second opinion, possibly from a physiatrist, rather than an orthopedist. It may be that you need to avoid or modify certain yoga poses, but I am not buying the idea that you need to give up yoga entirely.

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh! Physiatrist! I whole heartedly agree and have two I can recommend. Both of the ones I have seen are dynamite and also are willing to entertain things like acupuncture.

[hugh-mannity.livejournal.com]

He says that it might push the patella out of alignment.
Not every last yoga exercise under the sun. There might well be a few positions that you shouldn't get into at all and maybe a few more that you should only attempt with one of those neoprene knee braces to restrain the patella, but the rest of yoga should be fine.

Better to do the yoga you can do, and retain the meditation and mental stability, than do none at all.

Until your cartilage has degenerated to the point of being non-existent, there will always be things you can do. Swimming is excellent low impact exercise for the leg muscles. Strengthening them will help keep the patella aligned.

Don't, whatever you do, do what I did and resign yourself to being crippled for life. That way leads to despair. (and I'm still digging myself out of it 2+ years after the 2nd knee replacement.)

[kitanzi.livejournal.com]

I could see where some specific movements and poses might be bad, but cutting out all yoga all together? That sounds honestly absurd to me. I hope you can get a second opinion from another doctor, and regardless talk to someone - maybe a physical therapist? - who can give you a realistic idea of which MOTIONS might be a bad idea. There's a fair amount of yoga that doesn't have to stress your knees at all, and if your doctor doesn't even consider that, he doesn't sound very useful to me.