You've spent a long time, a lifetime really, with not much in the way of a "cope reserve". You'd gotten used to that; it felt normal. Now your self-work is giving you the tools to start building up a little bit, and you're starting to realize what not being stressed to the point of snapping feels like. But your reserve is still low, and easily drained even by little things -- and now you notice when it's at low ebb, much more than you used to.

Time and more self-work will help your cope reserve grow. Your husband being employed will help a lot, because right now that's a constant low-level drain even when you're not consciously worrying about it.