Almost awesome enough to make up for my leaving my debit card in the ATM when I stopped at the bank, like an enormous bimbo a fallible human being.

With all due respect, I fixed your typo there. I think enough people have done this that newer ATMs don't ask for your PIN until after you've removed your card.

I once found someone's ATM card in the machine, still logged in with the PIN, after hours, so I couldn't just take it inside. My first thought was to see if the person was in the phone book and return it directly, but my mother-in-law (who worked at the bank) said that was absolutely not a good idea. She took the card from me and said the bank would take care of it.