One other thing to consider: if hypothetically speaking your mom was having the kinds of thoughts that you're having now, odds are she'd not share them with you, she'd talk about it with other grown-ups (who are likely going through the same thing and can relate.)

The happiness challenge might be harder on the birthdays, but it's a one day at a time thing. Good luck with the project, and please go easy on yourself on those days when it happens to be extra-hard.

And yeah, I can largely relate.