Doing My Best To Ask For What I Need

[ladysprite]

So for those of you not on my deeper filters, things have been a bit rough here as of late. I've been coping with a lot of friends going through crises of their own, of various levels of severity and danger, and doing my best to help them, and handling the accompanying stress and worry that goes along with that. My work situation is... stressful, exhausting, and a source of a lot of anxiety on its own. And I lost a close family member yesterday, in sudden, unexpected, and emotionally traumatic circumstances.

I haven't completely fallen apart. But I'm holding myself together with the psychic equivalent of bubblegum and duct tape, and the cracks are starting to show. I'm exhausted, I'm scared, and I'm working very hard at not falling back into negative thought patterns, but sometimes I can't help it.

So please, if you can, handle with care? I'm a little fragile right now, so do your best to be patient if I react in unreasonable and broken ways. I'm not asking for a free pass, but maybe just let me know if I'm falling back into old patterns, instead of just writing me off.

A few people have asked what they can do to help, if anything. And, thinking about it, the most important thing I can ask for is - reach out to me? My instinct, when I'm hurting like this, is to hide and run away. Not because I want to, but because I start believing that nobody wants me around, or because I'm so overwhelmed that I freeze like a tharn rabbit, and can't muster the cope to move from the sofa or reach out to another person.

So. Not needed, not required. But if you do want to help, email me. Text me. IM me. If you're local and have time on your hands and want to get together, say so. Because goodness knows I could use the distraction right about now....

Comments

I promise you, you are loved and needed and wanted

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

So very sorry about everything you're going through. Many gentle hugs and songs.

[asdr83.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss and the rough time you've been having lately. If you'd like to come out and visit and snuggle a little ball of new life for a little hile all 3 of us would be very happy to see you.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I'm here, and while I'm often tentative about making contact, I am thinking of you, and if you want me I am more than happy to be there. Always.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Sending gentle hugs...

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

Dear Lady, if there is *anything * I can do just call me. I know we are not in easy driving distance, but there is a phone line. If nothing else know you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Gentle hugs, and tea, with scones.

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

It does seem like there has been a confluence of challenges in your life of late. *hugs*

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

More *hugs*

Wish I was local and could get together with you, too.

[clstal.livejournal.com]

Wishing you health and healing and a few nights of good sleep - I don't know you, but always appreciate your words here on LJ. I am endlessly impressed by your dealing with your unique work stresses on top of the other stresses of the profession - please know that I am thinking of you and am sorry for your loss.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Hey, darlin'... I don't have your e-mail address or phone number handy at work, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Can you take some time off from work? Because, emotionally, you're in the state as if you had the martian death flu, and you wouldn't go in if you had the *physical* martian death flu, so you shouldn't go in now, if you can spare the time (and money).

And if you do take some time off, that doesn't mean you're supposed to spend it in bed, unless that's how you nurture your emotions. (There's an earthy joke there that I'm explicitly not making - feel free to make it yourself if appropriate.) It can mean going out for a massage or a pedicure or other pampering... when you're trying to heal mental/emotional/spiritual wounds, you need to nurture the things that make you stronger to deal with those thing.

Hugs and cuddles offered... you are deeply loved, and very lovable, and though I so rarely have the energy to say so, I'm always very happy that you're in my life.

[citabria]

I'm 99% sure I don't have your phone number (I certainly don't have it anywhere easily accessible) and I'm not sure that I even have a current email addy for you. Any chance you could send it/them to me at my gmail account? You can send it to me as my LJname at gmail or firstnamelastname at gmail. I actually have some free time these days and would love to find a way to spend some of them -- in person, by phone, by text or by email -- with you!

[mamatiger.livejournal.com]

Sending positive thoughts your way, for whatever help that gives. So encouraging to see you reaching out like this, not so long ago you never would, your progress cheers my heart. Please, do, take care of yourself first, others second!

[virtualvirtue.livejournal.com]

1. *hug offered*
2. I do not have any contact info. However, if you'd like distraction, we've been having Google crafty hangouts you might enjoy. If you'd forward your info to me, I can make sure to invite you when we have the next. It is mostly #callahans and alt.callahans folks...

[virtualvirtue.livejournal.com]

My gmail address is faithwallis (at) gmail.com

[fractalgeek.livejournal.com]

Hugs from across the pond

[joannahurley.livejournal.com]

Things are a bit crazy and I'm wiped out, which means I'm retreating instead of reaching out, too. That said, I'm almost always online somehow, so please feel free to contact me. I LOVE chatting, I just need as much prodding as you do, somedays. :)

[crash-mccormick.livejournal.com]

Stuck in the 12th century right now so this is my only comm channel but know you love and valued and desired and admired and have been since I met you. We are doing well teaching period games to folks of all ages. And there has been a spurt of marriages and pregnancies here (not directly related) which is awes pickups and helps balance the cosmic scales at least.

Re: I promise you, you are loved and needed and wanted

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

thank you so much. Miss you....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

I'd like that. Any days in particular that work better for you?

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Thank you - that means a lot to me.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Thank you....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I need to find a way to get down to visit you guys again....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

I have faith you'll find your way to the area again sometime. :)

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Thank you; I really appreciate this....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

thank you so much for everything. I miss you, and your words always find a way to heal. I can't take time off from work at the moment, but I can and should try to remember to make the most of the weekend and evening time I do have....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm working on it, and thank you....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Google hangout? What is?

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

*hugs* thank you....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Sympathies on your current hecticness, and I'll try to remember to reach out to you when I see you online....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

*hugs* thank you - I miss Pennsic, and it's nice to have the peek inside....

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Thank you - will send you email. :)

Google Hangout

[virtualvirtue.livejournal.com]

Google Hangout is the video-chat function part of Google Plus which is part of the suite of applications that you get with a Gmail account.

It works pretty well if your microphone, camera, and speakers are set up reasonably.