ladysprite: (steampunk)
ladysprite ([personal profile] ladysprite) wrote2013-04-02 08:24 am
Entry tags:

Money Matters

Apologies for the rant that's about to follow, but....

So I've been thinking a lot recently about social classes, and financial privilege. And I have to wonder - at what point of material well-being does one become incapable of comprehending that there are people whose upbringing did not match theirs?

Because I have a significant handful of friends - good friends, good people - who grew up fairly well-off, who are just incapable of comprehending this. They weren't wealthy, and that's all that they see, and so they feel that they grew up underprivileged. And, by extrapolation, that anyone else who claims the label 'underprivileged' grew up in a situation like theirs.

And to be honest, it frustrates me, because... well, there was a bit more challenge to growing up on food stamps, or with sometimes not enough money for both heat and food, than to growing up with only one summer home and no in-ground pool.

I grew up lower-middle class. Food stamps, reduced-price school lunches, hand-me-down clothes from my cousin who was sixteen years older than me. And yet I understand that it could have been a hell of a lot worse, and that there were people out there who DID have it a lot worse - we had enough food (mostly cheap stuff like Hamburger Helper, but it was food), we had a phone and tv.

And I think that's what confuses me the most. It seems like, at some level of privilege, people become incapable of recognizing that some people have it worse. And I don't understand how this happens, or at what point - or when the assumption becomes that everyone starts life off with more or less the same resources as you.

(And on that note, don't get me started on 'We're not rich, we WORKED for our money!' So did my family. The only difference is we started out with a lot more debt and a lot fewer resources, and earned a lot less. We weren't poor because we were lazy; we were poor because no one paid for our education or sent us out into the world with a stock portfolio and a trust fund.)

That said... ultimately what I want is to understand, and figure out how to explain. Because it's no one's fault that they grew up in different circumstances, and ultimately, as I said, they're good people. But I think that finding a way to communicate clearly this difference in experiences and circumstances would go a long way to improving the situation in this country.....

[identity profile] leanne-opaskar.livejournal.com 2013-04-02 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmm. There may be differences in definitions here. Summer homes do not fall into my definition of middle class, and neither do food stamps. This divide you're speaking of is a difference between wealthy and poor, not of levels of the middle class.

I do think much of it is exposure. There are reasons I hang out on forums with a wide user base -- while I may not know these people in meatspace, I do know people who have spent years living in RVs, years living with only a generator for electricity -- or less!, people on fixed incomes, people living off their investments, and people who have extravagantly wonderful homes and land. ALL of them are hard workers. America lends itself to industry. I know very few slackers of any kind. (That may be a sampling issue.)

It has been my experience that everyone defaults to the assumption that others start at their level, until something proves otherwise. This has been true for people I know on all levels of income.

How to raise awareness? Talk about it. Put it out where people can see. Money is often a taboo topic. My family never talked about money outside the family. We were taught fiscal responsibility, but it was not acceptable to talk about money with other people.

[identity profile] scifantasy.livejournal.com 2013-04-02 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Another good point, yeah. Everybody (except the extremes) thinks they're "middle class"--it's just a matter of upper versus lower versus middle "middle class."
Edited 2013-04-02 15:51 (UTC)

[identity profile] browngirl.livejournal.com 2013-04-02 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Talk about it... and also listen. I have run into SO many people whose response to hearing about an experience different to theirs is to try to explain it away and to call the speaker a liar, implicitly or explicitly... it's wearying.

[identity profile] meranthi.livejournal.com 2013-04-03 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
It's interesting, the comments about summer homes. Technically, we had one. We went there every year for the entire summer. But I never thought of it as a summer home. That phrase has severe connotations of people languishing on beaches, sipping cocktails in the Hamptons... We just had a cabin in the middle of nowhere and we spent the summer hiking all the time.

Back to being a fish, I guess...

[identity profile] leanne-opaskar.livejournal.com 2013-04-03 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
The reason I consider a second home as a marker of wealth is that in modern times, owning a second property is very expensive. Even if it's been in the family for years, there are still the maintenance and taxes on more than one property. And if the property is not near where you live, there is also the travel cost and possibly maintaining a second household -- extra clothes and other necessities.

I'm not for a moment saying there aren't other wealth markers, though. I consider my family to be upper middle to lower wealthy. While we don't have second homes, we have nice homes in one of the most expensive states, and we certainly have not lacked for anything. We can satisfy our needs and many of our wants without trouble.

[identity profile] meranthi.livejournal.com 2013-04-03 11:51 am (UTC)(link)
I can definitely see that. My summer home was actually the only one we owned. We rented in MA until we moved out to make our summer home our permanent home.
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Tangent

[identity profile] alexx-kay.livejournal.com 2013-04-03 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
"How to raise awareness? Talk about it. Put it out where people can see. Money is often a taboo topic. My family never talked about money outside the family. We were taught fiscal responsibility, but it was not acceptable to talk about money with other people."

This taboo is not merely a social issue, but is enshrined as policy in the rules of most corporations. One's salary is considered private company data, and one is generally not permitted to discuss it -- even with one's colleagues! -- without violating non-disclosure agreements.

Needless to say, this seriously erodes the ability of the employees to even perceive, much less try to correct, problems with how wealth is distributed.
siderea: (Default)

Re: Tangent

[personal profile] siderea 2013-04-04 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
There oughtta be a law.
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Re: Tangent

[identity profile] alexx-kay.livejournal.com 2013-04-04 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
At least one such law was sponsored in Congress several years back. I was following it via OpenCongress.org for a while, but it seemed to have died of neglect, so I deleted the bookmark.