ladysprite (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladysprite) wrote2013-04-02 08:24 am
ladysprite) wrote2013-04-02 08:24 am
Entry tags:
Money Matters
Apologies for the rant that's about to follow, but....
So I've been thinking a lot recently about social classes, and financial privilege. And I have to wonder - at what point of material well-being does one become incapable of comprehending that there are people whose upbringing did not match theirs?
Because I have a significant handful of friends - good friends, good people - who grew up fairly well-off, who are just incapable of comprehending this. They weren't wealthy, and that's all that they see, and so they feel that they grew up underprivileged. And, by extrapolation, that anyone else who claims the label 'underprivileged' grew up in a situation like theirs.
And to be honest, it frustrates me, because... well, there was a bit more challenge to growing up on food stamps, or with sometimes not enough money for both heat and food, than to growing up with only one summer home and no in-ground pool.
I grew up lower-middle class. Food stamps, reduced-price school lunches, hand-me-down clothes from my cousin who was sixteen years older than me. And yet I understand that it could have been a hell of a lot worse, and that there were people out there who DID have it a lot worse - we had enough food (mostly cheap stuff like Hamburger Helper, but it was food), we had a phone and tv.
And I think that's what confuses me the most. It seems like, at some level of privilege, people become incapable of recognizing that some people have it worse. And I don't understand how this happens, or at what point - or when the assumption becomes that everyone starts life off with more or less the same resources as you.
(And on that note, don't get me started on 'We're not rich, we WORKED for our money!' So did my family. The only difference is we started out with a lot more debt and a lot fewer resources, and earned a lot less. We weren't poor because we were lazy; we were poor because no one paid for our education or sent us out into the world with a stock portfolio and a trust fund.)
That said... ultimately what I want is to understand, and figure out how to explain. Because it's no one's fault that they grew up in different circumstances, and ultimately, as I said, they're good people. But I think that finding a way to communicate clearly this difference in experiences and circumstances would go a long way to improving the situation in this country.....
So I've been thinking a lot recently about social classes, and financial privilege. And I have to wonder - at what point of material well-being does one become incapable of comprehending that there are people whose upbringing did not match theirs?
Because I have a significant handful of friends - good friends, good people - who grew up fairly well-off, who are just incapable of comprehending this. They weren't wealthy, and that's all that they see, and so they feel that they grew up underprivileged. And, by extrapolation, that anyone else who claims the label 'underprivileged' grew up in a situation like theirs.
And to be honest, it frustrates me, because... well, there was a bit more challenge to growing up on food stamps, or with sometimes not enough money for both heat and food, than to growing up with only one summer home and no in-ground pool.
I grew up lower-middle class. Food stamps, reduced-price school lunches, hand-me-down clothes from my cousin who was sixteen years older than me. And yet I understand that it could have been a hell of a lot worse, and that there were people out there who DID have it a lot worse - we had enough food (mostly cheap stuff like Hamburger Helper, but it was food), we had a phone and tv.
And I think that's what confuses me the most. It seems like, at some level of privilege, people become incapable of recognizing that some people have it worse. And I don't understand how this happens, or at what point - or when the assumption becomes that everyone starts life off with more or less the same resources as you.
(And on that note, don't get me started on 'We're not rich, we WORKED for our money!' So did my family. The only difference is we started out with a lot more debt and a lot fewer resources, and earned a lot less. We weren't poor because we were lazy; we were poor because no one paid for our education or sent us out into the world with a stock portfolio and a trust fund.)
That said... ultimately what I want is to understand, and figure out how to explain. Because it's no one's fault that they grew up in different circumstances, and ultimately, as I said, they're good people. But I think that finding a way to communicate clearly this difference in experiences and circumstances would go a long way to improving the situation in this country.....
no subject
My father had two jobs -- he worked as a social worker for welfare, and taught (still does, actually) piano at a music school twice a week.
We did have a TV, but it was black and white for most of my childhood, and we did not have cable (broadcast in NY is pretty good, but we did lose access to the Muppet show for some critical time, and Dr. Who was always snowy). We did not have a VCR (we did have a small projector, and would watch silent home movies or Disney outtakes, and also had several record players and a reasonable collection of records, including 20-40 for me). Most meals were home-cooked, with the occasional treat of a resturuant meal or a trip to Chinatown. Most of my toys were provided by relatives rather than my parents, although they made sure to always have -something- as a gift for the various gift-giving holidays (i.e. each day of Chanukah and my birthday).
I'm assuming now that we were just within the threshold, but at the time I always assumed my father practiced some creative accounting. Either way, our reported income was such that I qualified for free lunches at school and free lunches (at the nearby school) during the summer, and my parents made sure I took full advantage of this (not hard, particularly since my allowance was under a dollar until I hit mid to late teenage years and other parts of the family started subsidizing it). Via stubbornness and willingness to find loopholes (and, presumably, my testing well, which makes sense given that I always had enough to eat and my parents were both college post-grads), I didn't attend the middle-to-lower class public school near our home -- instead, I attended public school at PS6 -- a school smack in the middle of the upper east side, meaning that many of my friends were at the very least on the lower end of rich.
Clothes...I was the first child, so I didn't get hand-me-downs. OTOH, many of my clothes were bought on sale, and often years in advance; my approach to clothes was very much "wear what you're given," not "you're getting older, time to go pick out new clothes". My younger siblings (much younger; I was 8 when my brother was born) did get hand-me-downs, though, including my old toys.
Vacations...were very much done on the cheap, but for a car-less urban family. When I was very young we'd go to a cheap-ish resort for a few weeks every year, then spend a few weeks in Atlantic City with my grandmother (who lived there). As I got older, this switched to camp + AC instead (I think camp may also have been subsidized; my parents were -very- good at finding ways to save money, which is likely why I grew up as privileged as I did).
Now? It's an interesting question. I don't save much (my savings are more than my annual salary, but not that much year to year; no more than twice my salary, though), and I don't buy a lot, but I do keep semi-up to date on the latest tech toys, and I go to a sizable number of conventions a year, some of which I have to fly to. I don't own a house or any other large property (aside from electronics, which depreciate incredibly fast; enough that they effectively have no resale value); I don't have any debt either.
I peg that as "upper middle class", but I could be wrong.