I Would Like to Be A Conformist Lemming, Please!

[ladysprite]

I love my fiance with a deep and abiding passion. I love my friends and family, and I love the fact that I'm getting married. I love my pretty wedding gown, and the ceremony writing is actually starting to fall into place, and the chance to celebrate with several dozen of my nearest and dearest is just marvelous.

That said, this entire wedding rigmarole is starting to annoy the bejeezus out of me. Here is an entire industry bent upon making you realize that you're broke, worthless, and all of your friends will hate you forever if you can't afford an open bar and a rehearsal dinner at La Expensiva.

I honestly wish I had a small fortune to fund this one day of my life. I wish I could afford to feed everyone I've ever met bottomless booze and lobster risotto and an entire raw cow apiece, with live music and free pony rides. Or, barring that, I wish I was cool enough and talented enough to just find an empty hall somewhere and sew my own dress and grow my own flowers and bake my own cake and weave tiny handmade baskets and fill them with tiny homemade chocolates for all my guests. But I'm not that rich, and I'm not that talented, and so I'm stuck with a wedding that is going to scream 'frugal' to everyone I know who was lucky enough to have family with money. And it just makes it worse every time my mother cries because she's going to have to live with her daughter having a wedding that's "good enough" instead of Storybook Perfect, because she keeps insisting that it's her fault for being a bad mother and refusing to believe me when I say that I'm happy with chicken for dinner and bagels for the rehearsal breakfast, which makes me feel like I'm a cheap bitch for being happy with that.

Stupid wedding. Stupid social pressure. Stupid inferiority complex. Stupid student loans and stupid low-paying job. Blah.

Comments

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Please don't drive yourself crazy. We'll be there to watch the two of you get married, and smile at you as you walk down the aisle. Anything else is secondary.

Admittedly nobody can really understand the stress of planning a wedding until you go through it (speaking from experience). And I say that from the obsessively-detailed point of view. But it has to be right for you, not for anyone else. Just because the magazines say pink peonies are in doesn't mean you have to have them. (I had several arguments with our florist over that.)

If it isn't already covered, I'd be honored to make your wedding cake, if you'd like. (My mom and I made mine.) I've thought of offering for a while but I thought it might be too pushy. I would just need some vague outline of what type of thing you'd like...

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. Thank you. That really means a lot to me, both just as the offer and as a way to have my friends involved.

Our package includes a cake, but to be honest the bakery has been my biggest source of annoyance to date. But... even if we do have to use them, would you maybe think of making a groom's cake for us? I think we'd both be flattered and honored if you would want to do that....

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

If the bakery is your biggest annoyance, you're doing pretty well!

And, you're very welcome. I'd be happy to make you a groom's cake. It would probably be easier to transport (fewer tiers), and groom's cakes are often chocolate. :-) Though it certainly doesn't have to be; you can let me know your preference when it gets closer. If you like we can get together some time and look at cake magazines...