*sympathetic hugs* Your reaction is completely understandable. You are a caring person - I've read your posts where you've been upset about treating other people's pets...so no wonder it's worse when it's your own pet!

I guess this must be what parents feel like when a child has a mysterious illness and they're helpless to prevent it. And if those parents are doctors like you (yeah, maybe I'm carrying the whole child/pet thing a little far, but you know what I mean.)

Anyway, it's no wonder you're freaking out. *hug* Wish I could help - I'll have to settle for sending healing thoughts his way.