Almost Done

[ladysprite]

Putting together a seating chart bears an unpleasant resemblance to a bastard cross between jenga and New Math as set forth by Tom Lehrer.

We need tables of 10, though we can go as high as 12 or as low as 8, provided the average stays at 10 and our total table number stays at 11. Technically, this means we need to have 10.3 people at each table. So far I have managed to avoid carving guests, but it may be necessary before the situation is resolved.

Then comes the balancing act of determining who sits where. My mother has precisely 2.3 tables worth of family. My sweetie's family occupies a grand total of 1/3 of a table. My coworkers as a group fall one person over the maximum, leaving me with the choice of either sticking one coworker into the vast sea of weirdness that is my friends, or stuffing together two bizarre Frankensteinian hybrid tables of half-coworker, half-kin. Or I can replace the centerpieces with the small children of friends and relations, and free up another handful of seats.

I could fit all of my aunts at one table, but then none of the cousins would be able to sit there. I can't fit the cousins all together, but how do I figure which of them get to sit in the family corner and which are assigned to the Strange People From Strange Circumstances zone? And if I put the family by the DJ to act as noise control, then I can't fit the SCA ghetto near the dance floor.

It's like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces bleed when you put them in the wrong place. If I weren't such an obsessive-compulsive planning freak, I'd hate it. As it is, I'm almost ashamed to admit that I'm having fun. If it's complicated, that means it's important and I'm accomplishing something, right?

Comments

[warinbear.livejournal.com]

Silly question (and a silly idea, I think).

Have you considered just putting all the names in a hat and drawing randomly to determine seating?

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

That unfortunately is almost a guarantee of unhappiness. She'd be better off with open seating, but then there's always a few people left seatless. This is the method that's most considerate for the guests... though it can lead to hair-chewing on the part of the bride.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

The seating chart is always the hardest part... and there's always someone who doesn't quite fit. Just do the best you can, people will understand the real-world limitations.

[greenman65.livejournal.com]

The random approach was exactly the one we chose eventually (after about 5 attempts at doing it in a planned fashion).

We worked on the principle that all of our friends are grown-up human beings with an innate ability to have a civilised and coherent conversation with anyone over the few hours that it takes to have a meal and listen to some speeches.

We didn't split couples or families, but with those groups just did a random selection "out of the hat" and then made two minor changes to avoid a couple of potentially awkward situations.

It worked absolutely fine for us (YMMV) and resulted in a lot of our friends meeting a lot of other friends for a couple of hours. Then when the ceilidh started, almost everyone was up and down dancing anyway.

[journeyman]

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, of course, and Miss Manners would heartily approve of your spending time on this.

[braider.livejournal.com]

Or, you could let them seat themselves. Ask yourself this: do all of your guests necessarily *want* to sit with their families? Might some of them positively enjoy getting to know the other family/your friends? Weddings are boring if you don't get to meet someone new in the process.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

I agree - I think that lots of people would enjoy choosing whom to sit with, or having the option to move from table to table with their buffet plates.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Enh - that makes me really uncomfortable.

I've been to weddings where there was no assigned seating, and in my experience it leads to a lot of musical chairs and unofficial popularity contests, where the most agressive people grab an entire table for themselves and their closest friends, and the more shy/polite people wind up shoved out and wandering around the room desperately looking for a table with one or two seats open, at the opposite end of the room from anyone they might know.

I'm trying to mix things up a bit, so people get to sit with both familiar and new/interesting people, and my biggest hope is that once the dancing and socializing starts the tables are abandoned except as a place to stash shoes and jackets, but it's still awkward.

oh oh oh

[cristovau.livejournal.com]

Can I be a centerpeice, please!

Seriously, consider some of the more politic and charming of your weirder friends and sprinkle them around with workers and family if needed. John Maguire and Angie were wonderfully squishy puzzle peices that way. If you have any puzzle peices made of clay, use them well!

Re: oh oh oh

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

You can be a centerpiece if you truly want to. I already know you'll be a conversation piece. :)

It's weird the way our friends tend to sediment out into groups, though. There's the SCA section, and the online section, and the Arnis's-highschool-friends section.... it's big. Lots of people. I have faith in everyones' mingling abilities. :)

[mermaidlady]

I was at a wedding once where the wedding party all sat at the head table and all their dates were put at the same table. So, I was at a table full of strangers, all of whom knew each other from church, bowling league, and semi-annual trips to Atlantic City. While they chatted, I stared longingly at my boyfriend at the head table or the table full of my friends.

Finally someone decided to engage me in conversation. "So, do you know the groom or the bride?"

I could have just said "I'm friends with both", but what popped unbidden from my mouth was: "Neither, I'm just hired for the occasion."

They stared and then someone timidly said, "Do you get a lot of work as a hired date?"

"Oh yes, weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs. I do them all."

Fortunately the cake cutting began just then and I could flee.

[meranthi.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wish I could have come up with that answer at a different wedding...:)

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Yeek. Yeah, that's one of the many reasons we're not having a head table. That, and the fact that we're not likely to ever actually sit down....

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Heh! Most wonderful.

Many years ago, I found myself in a receiving line, trying to make conversation with strangers. One said, "So, how do you know [the bride]?"

"Through [the groom]; I've known him for years," I answered.

*pause, blink* "So how did you get to be maid of honor?" was the (in retrospect, moderately rude) next question.

"I earned it." (Which I had; originally I wasn't meant to be in the wedding party at all, but Off-Stage Manager, until one bridesmaid couldn't make it for a reason I no longer remember, so I was asked to fill in, and then the original maid of honor was offered a really fabulous, too-good-to-turn-down, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity overseas, and I got promoted.)

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

For at least some of the guests, you may know whether they are able to cope with strangers well or not. Those who don't cope well, try and keep together. Those who *do* cope well, leave until last to fill inholes. Just a sugestion...

[mermaidlady]

At rickthefightguy's wedding all the Boston folks were split up. I remember that jducoeur and alexx_kay were at the Geek Table; hungrytiger, isisofcool and La Belle Michelle were at the Parents Table; new_man and I were at the Spiffy Dressers Table. It worked pretty well and we didn't end up talking just to friends.

Maybe some sort of arrangement with secondary commonalities...