The Hard Part

[ladysprite]

There are stacks and heaps and entire library shelves full of books and magazines and kits to help one plan a wedding. They tell you how to find a florist, and what questions to ask when you're booking a DJ, and what to expect when you're putting together a rehearsal dinner. They even have useful checklists and schedules of when to do what, and they warn you how difficult some things will be, and how easy to forget certain details are.

None of them, however, bother to explain to you how to survive the first month of married life.

I love my sweetie, and we're still deliriously happy together. I can't imagine anything in this world or out of it that could ever change that. However, there is no helpful, cheery, pink book that tells you how to handle the sudden realization that the world did not stop turning for the past two months, and that several major holidays are right around the corner for which you are entirely unprepared. There are no checklists for where to put the several dozen boxes of cool stuff that you have no storage space for, or how to remember where you put the gourmet chocolates before you left on your honeymoon, or what to do with 85 absolutely beautiful cards which are too nice to throw away but too many in number to display on any surface.

Worst of all, they don't tell you how to make it through the thank-you card series without feeling like an insincere, greedy pod-person. The utter generosity of our friends and family still leaves me feeling vaguely dizzy and overwhelmed, and I adore and appreciate everything we were given, but... somehow when I try to sum that up on a tiny card, it comes out trite and repetitive and much less enthusiastic than I actually feel.

I'll survive. I'm a big girl, and I don't need a how-to manual for everything I do. But I still think it's rather unfair of the wedding-industrial complex to leave us poor brides half-prepared....

Comments

[braider.livejournal.com]

I might be able to help with displaying the cards.....

In girl scouts, we cut the bottoms out of empty Pringles cans and wrapped the cans longways (threading through the center of the tube to outside of the tube, rinse, lather, repeat) with yarn. You then hooked one card on each of the plentiful strings of yarn. As I recall, the yarn was laid so close together that it covered the can completely.

Not *much* of a help, I realize, but it's one less duck to nibble you.

[sjo.livejournal.com]

The world didn't stop turning? Well grap!

[new-man.livejournal.com]

There are books to help you deal with what you're talking about. The problem is that you think the problem is unique to new brides (understandable considering that's your perspective). Widen your vantage a little — try

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0696221284/qid=1099853408/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/002-9112316-3596026?v=glance&s=books

or

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743428323/qid=1099853408/sr=1-10/ref=sr_1_10/002-9112316-3596026?v=glance&s=books

[madshutterbug.livejournal.com]

We, fortunately, had a spare room available. And, we also received the blessing of being invited to easily a half-dozen other weddings within one year. Why was that a blessing, you didn't ask?

Because we found it an eminently reasonable means (always keeping track of where the source item came from, so we wouldn't be 'returning' it) of disposing with the half-dozen electric mixers we received. Since SWMBO already owned said appliance, we decided this redundancy of gifts was actually meant to help our finances by not needing to purchase wedding gifts for these other nuptials.

[roozle.livejournal.com]

On the thank-you notes thing, try to do them in little bite size nibbles, not for hours at a time. That might sound counter-intuitive right now, but it will let you make each one a little more personal and heart-felt.

[spectoria.livejournal.com]

Take my advice, write the thank yous anyway you want and don't worry about how you sound. It only sounds insincere to you because you've written the same words over and over (how many times can you write the words 'thank you' before you start doing a mental word scramble?)

As for where to put the cool stuff -- under the bed storage boxes.

Too many blenders/toasters/chaffing dishes? This is a good time to donate such things to a charity and get a tax write off.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

It only sounds insincere to you because you've written the same words over and over

This may well be true. Remembering that each recipient only *reads* those words once might help.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

(teasing you very gently) This is in large part why Dale and I "eloped", rather than having a Big Wedding.

However, I enjoyed yours very much, and am selfishly glad you decided to have one, so I will wish you well in figuring out all this new stuff.

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

You could make a scrapbook of sorts for the card... get a nice one (michael's has loads of options) and a LOT of clear sleeves, and you can have that wehn you want to look at it, or glue them by the backs on to pages so you can open and read then when you want...

And the brain that worked at JoAnn Fabrics never turns off....

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about repetition, each person only gets one thank-you note. Compose something that you feel says what you need it to, and modify it as needed. And try to do a few each day so it doesn't overwhelm you. (I wound up doing a chunk of ours at Contata...)

I can't help you with the storage issue, b/c we don't have enough space either. :-) But you can put the cards in a box and tuck it away somewhere, if you have somewhere to tuck it.