ladysprite (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladysprite) wrote2005-11-09 08:20 pm
ladysprite) wrote2005-11-09 08:20 pm
It's Tired And I'm Getting Late
Getting up from the sofa and going to bed is much easier when you don't have an excessively friendly cat curled up on your lap, purring like a fiend and nuzzling your hand and generally emitting Stay Here vibes.
On the other hand, staying up until I'm exhausted beyond functionality is one way to ensure that I'll at least be able to sleep. The bed here is quite comfortable, probably more so than my own, and there are fluffy pillows and soft sheets and the room is nice and warm and dark - but I'm utterly unused to sleeping by myself.
I'm having fun here. Nearly everyone I've met is friendly to a fault, and the friend I'm staying with is incredibly sweet. The baby is amazing, and this is an adventure and a learning experience. But....
I miss my husband.
I never thought I'd have those words to say. I never thought I'd have a husband to miss, or that one person would mean so much to me that I'd feel like I was sick without them. It's not like missing an arm or a leg; I could work around that - find new ways to walk or write or interact with the world. It's more like some vital nutrient is gone from my food, and without him no matter how much I try to find sustenance in my day, I just can't thrive and I'll continue to fade and wither until I can have my Recommended Daily Allowance of him again.
I miss seeing his face, I miss kissing him, I miss feeling his hair brush against my cheeks when he leans down over me. I miss curling up next to him before I fall asleep, I miss having him walk up behind me and run his hands along my sides while I'm cooking or washing dishes. I miss sitting next to him reading a book, and reading the most interesting passages out loud to him. There are so many things that I miss that I could fill the next three weeks here listing them, until he was here to make it all better - but that's probably not the wisest way to spend my time.
I miss other things, too - my friends, my cats, the physical contact that I always took for granted as a part of my daily life. I'm a touchy-feely person, and I'm used to having people to hug or sit next to or hold hands with whenever I need it, and that's not available down here, which is probably making things worse. I could live without all those things, though, if I just had him here.
Wemble, wemble, whimper, whimper. I've lived through four years of long-distance relationship, I can survive a few more weeks. It's just hardest right now, looking at an empty bed and anticipating going to sleep in silent solitude.
Maybe I'll stay up just a little longer, until I'm *really* tired.
I miss you, sweetie.
On the other hand, staying up until I'm exhausted beyond functionality is one way to ensure that I'll at least be able to sleep. The bed here is quite comfortable, probably more so than my own, and there are fluffy pillows and soft sheets and the room is nice and warm and dark - but I'm utterly unused to sleeping by myself.
I'm having fun here. Nearly everyone I've met is friendly to a fault, and the friend I'm staying with is incredibly sweet. The baby is amazing, and this is an adventure and a learning experience. But....
I miss my husband.
I never thought I'd have those words to say. I never thought I'd have a husband to miss, or that one person would mean so much to me that I'd feel like I was sick without them. It's not like missing an arm or a leg; I could work around that - find new ways to walk or write or interact with the world. It's more like some vital nutrient is gone from my food, and without him no matter how much I try to find sustenance in my day, I just can't thrive and I'll continue to fade and wither until I can have my Recommended Daily Allowance of him again.
I miss seeing his face, I miss kissing him, I miss feeling his hair brush against my cheeks when he leans down over me. I miss curling up next to him before I fall asleep, I miss having him walk up behind me and run his hands along my sides while I'm cooking or washing dishes. I miss sitting next to him reading a book, and reading the most interesting passages out loud to him. There are so many things that I miss that I could fill the next three weeks here listing them, until he was here to make it all better - but that's probably not the wisest way to spend my time.
I miss other things, too - my friends, my cats, the physical contact that I always took for granted as a part of my daily life. I'm a touchy-feely person, and I'm used to having people to hug or sit next to or hold hands with whenever I need it, and that's not available down here, which is probably making things worse. I could live without all those things, though, if I just had him here.
Wemble, wemble, whimper, whimper. I've lived through four years of long-distance relationship, I can survive a few more weeks. It's just hardest right now, looking at an empty bed and anticipating going to sleep in silent solitude.
Maybe I'll stay up just a little longer, until I'm *really* tired.
I miss you, sweetie.
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http://erick.home.vol.com/MoonSun.jpg
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Thank you for making my day brighter. :)
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The hardest part for me, in some ways, is the continuous double-take when I see something I want to show her or think of something I want to share with her, and I turn - and she's not there. It's a startlement every time.
I'm glad you know it's a finite time apart. Good luck. There's no shame in profoundly missing the right partner.