ladysprite (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladysprite) wrote2007-09-09 10:22 pm
ladysprite) wrote2007-09-09 10:22 pm
Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back
I am still a work in progress. I accept this, and I know I always will be. I have flaws, and I have hangups, and I'm working on handling them. I know that I have trouble with confidence, and that I'm a worrier, and that while I'm making strides forward I still have a long way to go.
But damnit, I had managed to convince myself that I was over my body image issues. I really and truly thought I was. I've been wearing shorts in public this summer, I went shopping for jeans without major trauma, I've even managed for the most part to avoid the scales at work.
And then reality comes along and slaps me in the face with the realization that I'm so far from over this particular issue that it's almost funny. And I don't even have a good reason for being this way, and I don't like being this way, and I don't want to think like this, and even while I'm recognizing the problem and the fact that it's unreasonable, I also know that this is going to mean at least a week of fat-free Weight Watchers yogurt for lunch and twice-daily weigh-ins.
Oh, well. I've climbed back out of this pit before, and I will again. I just need to learn that, even once I'm out of here, I've still got a lot of self-work to do on this particular topic....
But damnit, I had managed to convince myself that I was over my body image issues. I really and truly thought I was. I've been wearing shorts in public this summer, I went shopping for jeans without major trauma, I've even managed for the most part to avoid the scales at work.
And then reality comes along and slaps me in the face with the realization that I'm so far from over this particular issue that it's almost funny. And I don't even have a good reason for being this way, and I don't like being this way, and I don't want to think like this, and even while I'm recognizing the problem and the fact that it's unreasonable, I also know that this is going to mean at least a week of fat-free Weight Watchers yogurt for lunch and twice-daily weigh-ins.
Oh, well. I've climbed back out of this pit before, and I will again. I just need to learn that, even once I'm out of here, I've still got a lot of self-work to do on this particular topic....
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