ladysprite (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladysprite) wrote2007-09-09 10:22 pm
ladysprite) wrote2007-09-09 10:22 pm
Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back
I am still a work in progress. I accept this, and I know I always will be. I have flaws, and I have hangups, and I'm working on handling them. I know that I have trouble with confidence, and that I'm a worrier, and that while I'm making strides forward I still have a long way to go.
But damnit, I had managed to convince myself that I was over my body image issues. I really and truly thought I was. I've been wearing shorts in public this summer, I went shopping for jeans without major trauma, I've even managed for the most part to avoid the scales at work.
And then reality comes along and slaps me in the face with the realization that I'm so far from over this particular issue that it's almost funny. And I don't even have a good reason for being this way, and I don't like being this way, and I don't want to think like this, and even while I'm recognizing the problem and the fact that it's unreasonable, I also know that this is going to mean at least a week of fat-free Weight Watchers yogurt for lunch and twice-daily weigh-ins.
Oh, well. I've climbed back out of this pit before, and I will again. I just need to learn that, even once I'm out of here, I've still got a lot of self-work to do on this particular topic....
But damnit, I had managed to convince myself that I was over my body image issues. I really and truly thought I was. I've been wearing shorts in public this summer, I went shopping for jeans without major trauma, I've even managed for the most part to avoid the scales at work.
And then reality comes along and slaps me in the face with the realization that I'm so far from over this particular issue that it's almost funny. And I don't even have a good reason for being this way, and I don't like being this way, and I don't want to think like this, and even while I'm recognizing the problem and the fact that it's unreasonable, I also know that this is going to mean at least a week of fat-free Weight Watchers yogurt for lunch and twice-daily weigh-ins.
Oh, well. I've climbed back out of this pit before, and I will again. I just need to learn that, even once I'm out of here, I've still got a lot of self-work to do on this particular topic....
no subject
Maybe you should find a way in your mind to make it funny for real.
That isn't callous, really. I've found that I can live with an awful lot, as long as I can mock it. It got me through brain surgery, and the times that were the worst were the times when I lost the humor. So I worked hard to get it back.
I suspect it wasn't reality that came along and slapped you in the face. It was probably stress about other things. Many people deal with stress via food, so perhaps you're dealing with it the same way, only using yogurt instead of ice cream.
Either way, I hope you're happy soon. You're one of my best friends, and I hate that you're not happy.