So Far, So Good

[ladysprite]

The downside of everything going well for me right now is that, frustratingly, stupidly, and unreasonably, I wind up feeling guilty at being happy when everyone around me seems to be going through so much difficulty and pain.

So far this year, everything seems to be looking up. My aunt is recovering from her stroke, well enough that she's been moved from the hospital to a local rehab facility. Work is starting to pick up - January is still slow enough that things are going to be tight, but February is fully booked. And I'm lucky enough that, for us, tight means 'maybe cut back on restaurants and books and luxury foods,' rather than 'no heat/phone/mortgage.'

I'm healthy. I'm able to be active. There's a local middle eastern dance class starting next week - something I've wanted to learn for years - at a nearby facility, on a night I've got otherwise free, for almost free. I've been invited to be in a play that sounds like it should be a lot of fun. Arisia is coming up, and I'm on enough panels to get my comp without interfering with my fun.

My house is strong and safe and warm. My cars work. I have a husband who loves me, and treats me like a princess, and respects me; and I love and cherish and respect him, and we're happy.

And there's a part of me that feels that it's unfair that things are going so well for me, while everyone around me seems to have pieces of their world falling apart. Not to the point that I don't appreciate my luck, or that it'll keep me from cherishing every bit of it, but... I kind of wish that I could take at least part of the goodness that I have right now and give it to the folks I know who are hurting.

I'll take what I have, though, and at least try to make the best of it. At least, while things are smooth here, it means I have enough spare energy and strength to try to be there for those who might not....

Comments

[bardling.livejournal.com]

I kind of wish that I could take at least part of the goodness that I have right now and give it to the folks I know who are hurting.

At least, while things are smooth here, it means I have enough spare energy and strength to try to be there for those who might not....

I would definitely see that as you taking part of your life's goodness and giving it to other folks. At a guess & depending on situation, it probably includes you giving smiles, time, ear, perhaps shoulder-to-cry-on, hugs, but possibly also lifts, small things you can spare, baked or cooked goodies etc sometimes.
Also, don't underestimate the good it can do sometimes to see a friend doing well and being happy for them. Also, that sometimes makes it easier to unburden oneself, if one doesn't have to feel the potential listener is running so close to the edge of their cope that burdening them with one's own problems would just be too much.

I'm glad to read things are going well for you. Admittedly, there's a little bit of envy on some points, but I can live with that, and without it distorting me, I think. ;)

[mindways]

That's great to hear! :) (The things-being-well, not the feeling guilty.)

So far as I can tell, unhappy folks being angry/upset at the happiness of others tends to be the exception, not the rule - and as often than not, the exceptions involve the happy-person being dismissive of the troubles of others or accidentally hitting a hot-trigger (eg, rejoicing in one's house the day after a friend's house has burned down) or somesuch.

There was a study recently which seemed to indicate that happiness spreads - that being happy is a positive influence on the lives of one's friends, friends' friends, and friends' friends' friends. (The statistical correlation dropped off after 3 degrees of separation.)

I know that when I'm down in the dumps, hearing that my friends are doing well is generally a great comfort. :)

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

I second what mindways said.

"Shared pain is lessened, shared joy, increased- thus do we refute entropy." - Spider Robinson

[johnprester.livejournal.com]

Just knowing that a friend is healthy and happy helps me keep going. Never doubt it.

[citabria]

I am absolutely delighted that things are going well for you. You deserve it, and knowing that you're doing well makes me that bit happier. Really.

[tafkad.livejournal.com]

Speaking as someone who had pieces of his world fall apart in the last month, you have my full permission to enjoy the goodness in your life. Triply so as you helped me shoulder my miserable burden when I needed you to.

Dammit, SOMEBODY'S got to have good things going. :-)

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

When I'm going through a bad patch, someone inevitably tries to make me feel better by pointing out all those people who have it much worse than I do. This inevitably makes me feel even worse than I did to begin with. (This is not to be confused with hearing from someone who needs my support. It's more along the the lines of, "Well, at least you're not as badly off as.....")

Hearing about/from others who are doing well and are happy, on the other hand, inevitably cheers me up. So as far as I'm concerned, you're doing a public service simply by talking about being happy. If we all were miserable at the same time, where would we find hope?