News, But Not What I Was Hoping For

[ladysprite]

So Tristan - my sweet orange kitty - had his ultrasound this morning.

It's not good.

His liver is enlarged and irregular, throughout the entire organ, and there's a separate mass that looks like it's probably on his pancreas as well. He's starting to build up fluid in his abdomen.

The specialist was able to take aspirates from the liver and the separate mass, so we should have a final diagnosis by Monday, but... it's just a formality at this point. Odds are it's cancer; there's not much else that can do this.

And he's going downhill so quickly. It's only been a week from the first time he didn't finish his dinner. I can already feel his spine sticking out. He's still trying to act like himself, but I can see changes in how he walks, and how much time he spends hiding in my closet.

We're keeping up his meds, but I don't know how much they're helping. The big question I'm going to face, once we have our final diagnosis, is whether to put him through full-on chemotherapy or just try to keep him comfortable for a little while. I ask people this question every day, I ask them to make this decision, but somehow I'm not ready to answer it myself.

I don't want to finish my work day. I don't want to make dinner tonight. I don't want to go play in a LARP tomorrow and pretend to be all suave and witty. I don't want to be around other humans at all, except my husband. I just want my baby, and I want him to be better....

Comments

[wcg.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I'm sorry.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

I hope you have many good pain free days with him still. This is never easy, no matter how many times you've done it professionally, personal is still, well, personal.

[jacketeer.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry :(

[arachne8x.livejournal.com]

My deepest sympathies for you and your husband and of course your sweet cat.

This is such a hard thing to go through. I will be thinking of you a..

[tpau]

*hugs*

[metaphysick.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry.

If you need anything, at all, don't hesitate to ask.

[guendalina.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this.....

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

That is so very hard. Lots and lots of *hugs*.

[rms-butterfly.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Oh no! So so sorry to hear this... I know it's no comfort, but at least he'll be getting the best possible care from someone who loves him.

[jadasc.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Good wishes and kind thoughts.

[moiramisu.livejournal.com]

You're more informed to most to make that decision, but I guess that can be a double edged sword in a way though. Sorry about your kitty :(.

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry the news is bad. And having the knowledge sometimes can make it harder to make the decision, not easier. But even if it were easier, it's never easy.

[aries-walker.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Good Thoughts for strength and clarity, and for love and support.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry, my friend. *hugs you*

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Tristan. I'm so sorry.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry :(

Many hugs

[jdulac.livejournal.com]

profound sympathies...

[catalana.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. It's such a hard decision to make, and you and your family (including the furry portions of it) will be in my thoughts.

[unicornpearlz.livejournal.com]

My deepest sympathies for the bad news. Were I in your position, I would get take out/order in and just 'be' with my husband and my kitty. *hugz*

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

Not a good week for sweet orange kitties. :(

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

When Skitty was diagnosed, I had to ask myself the same question.

My decision was that any major treatments were probably for me, not for her. But she was never a very happy kitty. She was an *okay* kitty, but never a really *happy* one.

The decision of when to end it was easy, for all that it was sad. When she tried to eat, but couldn't, I was able to say that it was time. I couldn't feed her and ease her hunger, so I had to end her suffering the only way I could. It sounds rational, but it was heartbreaking.

I did realize something then... I'd never know the *right* decision, because there wasn't one. No one can say what's right, or best; there are too many questions. You can only make a decision, and accept that you've done what you can.

Hugs and healing to you and your kitty; Please let me know if there's anything I can do.

[auntiemame67.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I've been through this six times now, myself, and it *never* gets any easier. Each cat is my very special child, and I love each of them as family, and I am so very sorry you're having to go through it now. I send hugs. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to let me know. I'm grieving for you, and sending my best energy to Tristan.

And on a similar note... after this is over, light a candle in a window for three nights running to call his spirit home. I've done this every time, and I swear that, at different times, I have known *for sure* that one or more of mine have come to stay for a while.

[keshwyn]

I'm so sorry.

[asdr83.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

Love and hugs, tea and tissues. I would not put my animals through chemo. I know how very hard it is on people, and *they know what is going on.

Don't feel badly about hibernating with your husband and baby at this point. I wish I could make it all better, but...

[siderea]

I am so very sorry.

[weasel2000.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, thoughts are with you, Arnis and your little one!

[citabria]

Oh, I am so, so, so sorry to hear this. I'm not surprised that the decision is hard even though you ask people this all the time -- there's still a boundary there, even if it seems like it's paper thin. I suspect that there is no truly good answer. {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

[fractalgeek.livejournal.com]

Hugs.

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. It's always so hard.

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am so sorry!

[joannahurley.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish there had been a better answer for you and him.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry :(

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.

Bast bless him and you.

::hugs::

Icon says it all.

[tafkad.livejournal.com]

He's a good kitty.

[braider.livejournal.com]

*hugs*