ladysprite (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladysprite) wrote2011-10-10 02:18 pm
ladysprite) wrote2011-10-10 02:18 pm
Balance
I think I need to learn again how to find equilibrium in my life. I have gotten so used to being on the go constantly, running at full-tilt, that I've kind of forgotten any other way to be, and when I'm not in maximum overdrive I start to fret and worry and feel lost and at loose ends.
My life isn't quiet or slow, by any measure - but things have been so frenetic that any change from that pace feels bizarre in comparison. I was looking at my schedule for this week, and realized that I was worrying about how slow it seemed - no evening plans at any point during the week. Except, of course, my weekly visit to my hospitalized friend. And an evening out soliciting donations for the 3 Day raffle with my husband. And the one night a week that I work late. And then, of course, dinner with another friend, who called last night.
Which is kind of not empty. But... more to the point, I need to learn to remember that empty isn't necessarily bad. I need time alone with my husband. I need time to relax, and maybe watch some of the TV shows that I'm a month behind on, and work on some of the crafting projects that have been languishing. I need to make dinner more than once a week, work out more than a couple of times, sleep more than six hours a night.
I need socializing to feel good, not like an obligation, and I need time at home to feel good and normal and positive, rather than triggering constant worrying that either I'm forgetting something, I'm being lazy, or that there's no one else in the world who wants my company.
I'm just not quite sure how to do this....
My life isn't quiet or slow, by any measure - but things have been so frenetic that any change from that pace feels bizarre in comparison. I was looking at my schedule for this week, and realized that I was worrying about how slow it seemed - no evening plans at any point during the week. Except, of course, my weekly visit to my hospitalized friend. And an evening out soliciting donations for the 3 Day raffle with my husband. And the one night a week that I work late. And then, of course, dinner with another friend, who called last night.
Which is kind of not empty. But... more to the point, I need to learn to remember that empty isn't necessarily bad. I need time alone with my husband. I need time to relax, and maybe watch some of the TV shows that I'm a month behind on, and work on some of the crafting projects that have been languishing. I need to make dinner more than once a week, work out more than a couple of times, sleep more than six hours a night.
I need socializing to feel good, not like an obligation, and I need time at home to feel good and normal and positive, rather than triggering constant worrying that either I'm forgetting something, I'm being lazy, or that there's no one else in the world who wants my company.
I'm just not quite sure how to do this....
no subject
.... of course, that probably requires that I actually *have* some free time ... *sigh*