ladysprite (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladysprite) wrote2013-02-19 11:21 am
ladysprite) wrote2013-02-19 11:21 am
No More
I am really, really, really sick and tired of Bucking Up and Being Strong and Acting Like A Goddamned Grownup and being told to just cope with shit.
In the past week I've had to deal with my creepy stalker ex-boyfriend from goddamn high school contacting me again, injuring my neck again so I'm on exercise restriction AGAIN, and finding out that someone stole my identity and about $1000 from my checking account/debit card. While I don't have any work, or enough money to make ends meet as it is.
And right now I'm supposed to square my shoulders and take a deep breath and go to the bank and go pick up a friend who needs a ride and clean the house and bake cookies for tonight's gaming group and be a smiley hostess and figure out alternate means of paying for everything until I get reimbursed and get my new card activated and do this all while I'm on heavy-duty muscle relaxants and coping without my primary stress-relief outlet, but I DON'T WANT TO.
I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I want to quit this game. I want to have someone pick me up and carry me home and tell me I don't have to play anymore.
But that's not an option. So up I get and out I go. When do I get to stop running on this damn hamster wheel?
In the past week I've had to deal with my creepy stalker ex-boyfriend from goddamn high school contacting me again, injuring my neck again so I'm on exercise restriction AGAIN, and finding out that someone stole my identity and about $1000 from my checking account/debit card. While I don't have any work, or enough money to make ends meet as it is.
And right now I'm supposed to square my shoulders and take a deep breath and go to the bank and go pick up a friend who needs a ride and clean the house and bake cookies for tonight's gaming group and be a smiley hostess and figure out alternate means of paying for everything until I get reimbursed and get my new card activated and do this all while I'm on heavy-duty muscle relaxants and coping without my primary stress-relief outlet, but I DON'T WANT TO.
I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I want to quit this game. I want to have someone pick me up and carry me home and tell me I don't have to play anymore.
But that's not an option. So up I get and out I go. When do I get to stop running on this damn hamster wheel?
no subject
And if *making* cookies isn't soothing, EATING them may be. Worth a shot...
Remember, you *can* always drop everything and go do something completely different. Even holding that option in front of youself and saying "now?" can help you realize how many things you don't want to lose.
One thing you *do* want to lose is that debit card. Credit cards have much fewer and less risks.
Best Wishes.