Lessons Learned This Weekend

[ladysprite]

1) I need to socialize outside my primary safe group of friends more often. My group of closest-friends are good people, and I enjoy spending time with them, and I love the fact that I see them every week and we know each other well enough to finish one another's sentences, but... they're the people I see every week, and sometimes in doing that I forget other people. And those other people can be incredibly good friends if I give them the chance, and it can be fun sometimes to move outside the commonplace zone and see what happens. Also, people will never become your Dear Companion if you don't give them the opportunity - but if you do, they might.

2) In spite of the fact that I dread having my picture taken, I still find it rather depressing and frustrating to have no pictures of myself. I don't know why; I never used to. But somehow, at some point I internalized my father's belief that somehow, without pictures, you have no proof that you existed and were part of the world and people's lives. Unfortunately, this is deeply at odds with the fact that I photograph horribly (with few miraculous exceptions), and my immediate instinct upon seeing someone with a camera is to duck and cover. I have no idea of how to resolve this conflict of wishes.

3) I'm sure I have more fascinating and deep thoughts to speculate upon here, but dinner is almost ready, and few things in this world are worth postponing indulgence in homemade macaroni and cheese.

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I don't think I know anyone who believes they photograph well (and I know at least one person who gets paid good money to be photographed). Heaven knows I don't.

My solution is to try to make sure I get photographed when I'm with people I love, doing things that make us happy. So even if I don't much like the way I look, I can enjoy the result as a visual reminder of love and joy.

[sebastian-tombs.livejournal.com]

I find it hard to believe that you don't photograph well. You're a lovely woman with a wonderful smile, and as long as someone tries to capture that, the end results should reflect that.

People tend to focus on their flaws instead of their strengths.

You can try to go for "action" shots, where the picture is trying to recreate a memory. Then you'll focus more on that memory or event, and less on how you feel you look. (or you can focus on how goofy your friends look, and how you're so beautiful compared to the rest of us o;-)

[wren13.livejournal.com]

Silly wench, your wedding pictures are absolutely spectacular! You must be looking through mud colored glasses if you think you are not photogenic.

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

There can be a big difference between not wanting to be photographed, and thinking you are not photogenic.

I'd love to do a formal portrait (big slow camera) of you when I'm down in Boston sometime. Let me know, if you want.

[warinbear.livejournal.com]

I find it hard to believe that you don't photograph well.

I second that, and I have proof(s). <g>

On a more serious note, there is a big difference between not liking the way you look in photographs and thinking that others don't like the way you look in photographs. If you're concerned about how pictures of you might be received elsewhere, I think your fears are groundless, and I doubt I am unique in this view; if you're concerned that you won't like the pictures yourself, I can't really comment, since I'm not you.

[tafkad.livejournal.com]

I remember a teacher telling a bunch of my 8th grade classmates that no one likes their own picture. I know I hate mine.

[kalimar.livejournal.com]

2) In spite of the fact that I dread having my picture taken, I still find it rather depressing and frustrating to have no pictures of myself... Unfortunately, this is deeply at odds with the fact that I photograph horribly (with few miraculous exceptions), and my immediate instinct upon seeing someone with a camera is to duck and cover. I have no idea of how to resolve this conflict of wishes.

*cough* *cough* No offense, but there's proof that you photograph well. Start there. Then work on to try to figure out what the differences are between the photographs of you that you like and those that you don't like. Critique the ones you don't like with something other than "I don't photograph well". Figure out what it is that you don't like (does the lighting wash you out, do your clothes make you look overly flushed, etc) and then work on what you can.

And getting formal portraits works well too.