Lair of the Lost Girl

So a few weeks ago I was made aware of the existence of Heathers: The Musical. And, like the misfit child of the 80's I am, I absolutely HAD to go see it. I figured it would either be awesomely good or awesomely terrible, but either way I had to find out.

And I am lucky enough to have a dear friend with the interest, enthusiasm, planning skills, and New York City area knowledge to make this happen. So this Friday umbran, jadasc, and I headed down to catch an evening show.

Verdict? It was amazing.

I admit, I think I probably enjoyed it more than the rest of our party, but ultimately everyone liked it. I just... loved it. They had to make some changes from the original movie, of course, both for the new genre, time constraints, staging and cast limitations, and just for creative reasons. Luckily, the changes were in directions that made it even more appealing to me.

Turning almost anything into a musical, in my experience, adds a level of emotional depth that just isn't achievable in a regular movie. The musical also fleshes out Veronica's history, gives her a bit more agency, makes JD less of a sociopath, fleshes out one or two of the background characters, and makes the romance between JD and Veronica a lot more powerful and believable.

It's still a black comedy, but most of the humor is in the musical numbers, with the story in between being a little bit more serious. And it's still a story about how much high school sucks and about misfit heroes and how much people can hurt each other... it's just also a romance, and a story about internal pain instead of external pain. In short, it pushes all of my angst-bunny buttons while still making me laugh until I bounced up and down in my seat and couldn't breathe.

I've pre-ordered the soundtrack, and while I'm not quite ready to make another trip to go see it in the basement of the off-Broadway theater it currently occupies, if it ever makes it to actual Broadway, or on tour, I'll be there in a heartbeat.

(Also, apparently the night after we went to go see it, Neil Gaiman was in the audience. Of course. My taste is impeccable, but my timing needs work.....)

I have been a fan of Glee since the first episode. I have promoted it to my friends. I have bought songs from the show. I have stood by it through the loss of focus that hit somewhere around the second season, and was willing to see what they did with the third season, after half their main characters graduated.

But I think I may have just found the line I can't cross.

Specifically, their portrayal of the school's D&D Club as a bunch of hyperkinetic nerds who dress up in wizard robes and pointy hats and jump around hitting each other with cardboard swords while an even more angsty pencil-necked dweeb gesticulates wildly, trying to control them and failing.

I am livid that a show whose primary message is about underdogs, losers, and unpopular kids triumphing in the face of bullying; whose characters include a transgendered student, openly gay couples, and a student in a wheelchair; that makes such an ostentatious point of acceptance, openness, and inclusivity, still thinks it's okay to make fun of gamers and geeks. Because, you know, they're just funny. It's okay to mock them.

I'm probably overreacting. But I'm sick and tired of the media stereotype of gamers as asthmatic, cheeto-chowing, socially retarded nerds who can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. It's not accurate, and it's hurtful - both to those of us who actually enjoy RPG's and to those who are driven away from a hobby and a social circle they might enjoy because of the negative associations.

Maybe someday I'll watch this show again. But right now? I highly doubt it....

I don't like to admit it, but I have a fondness for reality cooking competition shows. In particular, I have recently developed a shameful interest in Chopped - especially the current All Stars edition.

(For those not familiar with the show, each episode involves four chefs competing over 3 courses; for each course they get a set of four ingredients they have to use. Some ingredients are good, some are... at best random.)

And this is fascinating, and it's a cool exercise in creativity, and I love playing along at home and trying to think of what I would make if I were in their situation. But just once, instead of the standard collection of excellent and bizarre ingredients, like skirt steak, turnips, sweet potatoes, and fruit leather, I'd just love - just once - to see something truly bizarre and prankworthy.

I just have a vision of the contestants' faces as they open their basket and the voiceover announces, 'Today's mandatory appetizer ingredients are..... Branston Pickle, Cocoa Puffs, Sawdust, and The Contents Of Some Random Tupperware We Found In The Back Of Bobby Flay's Refrigerator. Your 20 minutes start..... NOW!'

This is how I know I am secretly a bad person.

(Also, I just love saying Branston Pickle. If I had a son, I would name him that. This, in turn, is how I know I should never reproduce.)

I never wanted to like 'Once Upon A Time.' I figured it would be the weakest of this season's crop of urban fantasy tv shows - that it would be derivative, sugary, shallow, and bland. I didn't like the fact that, while it claims to be generally about fairy tales, that it's heavily and blatantly Disney. I didn't like the woman playing the evil queen. I didn't like the fact that, in the first episode, it felt like a poorly-veiled 'Fables' knockoff.

But the arc plot sounded... not bad, at least, and umbran wanted to give it a fair chance, and so I decided to keep watching. And I wound up vaguely interested, at least enough to give it one more episode. And then one more. And then I finally had to admit to myself that I liked it. And, for better or for worse, there's precisely one reason that I do like it.

Rumpelstiltskin.

I am deeply, wrongly, madly in love with this character, with the actor who plays him, with his story, with his plot, with the delicious, dark, syrupy angst that pours from his every facet. I adore well-written villains, and there is something about his simultaneous glee in villainy, his two-faced nature, his sheer joy in mercenarily hosing both the good and the evil alike, and his dark, bitter self-hatred that just makes me want to do the television equivalent of drinking up every last drop of his story and licking the bowl. I was afraid when the show started giving him backstory that they would spoil the purity of his villainy, but they're managing to handle it in such a way that only makes him better.

The rest of the story is pretty good, I guess. I still wish they'd make it a little less heavily Disney, and I'm beginning to realize that my hope of them pulling in some of the more obscure fairy tales is likely to be in vain. (Donkeyskin? Please?) But I will watch as long as it's on the air, if they continue to give me my weekly spoonful of black antihero angst....

(Spoiler safety request - I'm still two episodes behind, so please no in-depth details of what happens after "Skin Deep.")

Having watched the first episode of 'Grimm' (and falling for it hook, line, and sinker), I have just one thought in my head....

Ever since the first time I encountered the trope in 'The Talisman' (which is still one of my favorite books ever, and one that I reread more often than almost anything else), I have managed to develop a serious crush on just about every fictional Big Bad Wolf character I have encountered.

The Talisman. The Tenth Kingdom. Fables. And now this - one episode in, and I am squirming in delight anytime the supposed comic-relief sidekick shows up on the screen. I'm going to have to stick with this show for a good long time, if only for the sake of this one character.

I think this show may be the one keeper, out of this season's hit parade of urban fantasy. Don't get me wrong, 'Once Upon A Time' was cute, and I'll give it at least a second episode. But it's a little too fluffy for my tastes. This one is dark. And a little gritty. And it bribed me in the opening scene with 80's music.... and it has a big bad wolf.

(For the record, I have no idea what my wolf obsession means, with respect to my subconscious or other aspects of my psyche, and I'm not sure I want to. It's not a general Bad Boy fetish, and it's not a werewolf thing either. But yellow eyes, scruff, and danger.... yeah. Sign me up.)

Last night was just about perfect - umbran and I went to go see the Commonwealth Shakespeare Company's production of 'All's Well That Ends Well' with a handful of friends, and I can't imagine a better evening. The weather was gorgeous, I got to spend time hanging out and chatting with people I don't see near often enough, there was a surfeit of delicious food, the blending of social circles went off without a hitch, and the play was wonderful.

I had never seen 'All's Well That Ends Well' before, and I don't remember ever reading it, which made watching it an interesting experience - usually, when I watch Shakespeare, I've read it beforehand, and I'm familiar with the language and the story. This time I had to pay a little more attention to the exact phrasing, but it was still delightfully entertaining - and it's fun to encounter the more humorous parts for the first time as they're supposed to be seen; puns and slapstick just don't play as well on paper as they do on stage.

It did leave me wondering, though, what pieces of our current art and entertainment will still survive and be remade and replayed 400 years from now. So many of our stories are interdependent, or genre-specific, or rely on references to pop culture - will they be comprehensible to someone who didn't grow up in this culture? And even if they are comprehensible, will they still be interesting or funny?

Genre stories might survive - but then again, will they still make sense? Will the genre tropes carry down enough for them to be entertaining and comprehensible? And there are stories, both in literature and on film, that set out to Create Great Art - but then again, Great Art isn't always what survives. Shakespeare wasn't trying to write for the ages, and his stories have outlasted a lot of other stuff. On the other hand, as trite and occasionally irritating as romantic comedies are... their appeal is universal, if only because romance and comedy are things that transcend era. I don't want to believe that, far into the future, Bridget Jones' Diary and Noises Off will be studied in literature and theater classes while Unbreakable and The Matrix vanish without a blip, but something tells me that might just be the case.

On the other other hand, epics are universal, too. And superhero stories are just demigod stories with new clothes. So... who knows?

What are your picks for the stories that will survive?

Dear So You Think You Can Dance,

This season blows.

Please start introducing some variety. I just went back and counted; this season about half of the routines for each episode have been contemporary/lyrical/jazz. We've had a grand total of 1 ballroom and 1 Latin routine each episode. I have nothing against contemporary/jazz, but it's getting repetitive and boring. Also, we have several couples that, in four episodes, have had NOTHING but contemporary/lyrical/jazz routines. Way to push them out of their comfort zones.

It wasn't always like this. Back in seasons 3 and 4, we had maybe 2 contemporary/jazz routines per episode. Now? We're four weeks in and we haven't had a single tango. Or a rumba, or a paso doble, or disco, or mambo, or krump, or swing.

The judging is a farce. They don't even bother discussing the dance; it's mostly Nigel mugging for the camera and Mary screeching or weeping. They talk about the costumes more than the motion. And the most telling thing is that even the judges can't keep the contestants straight; when your judge admits halfway through her critique that she can't even remember the girl's name, or when they praise the contestant for a routine they didn't even perform in, you know that even they're just phoning it in.

Pretty please, give us something worth watching next week? And next season, if you don't throw some more unique and varied dancers in, I am totally over this show. As it is, it was only the bribes of David Bowie and Eartha Kitt that got me through tonight's episode.

Oh - and what is it with the ball-busting man-hating, killer grrrl routines this season? It's becoming kind of boring and cliche.....

No love,
me

I admit that I have a weakness for cooking competition shows. I like the fact that most of them are at least somewhat more about the food and the ideas than the standard schadenfreude of reality television, I like the fact that, as an amateur cook I can at least vaguely relate to the challenges, and most of all I love playing along in my head - when they put forth a challenge, it's a lot of fun to think about how I would respond, and what I would make. I know I'm nowhere near good enough to actually compete, even on an amateur level, but it's a fun mental game.

However, the more of these shows I watch, the more I notice one thing that bothers me. It's small, and it's probably silly, but it's really starting to irk me.

There is an immense amount of food wastage going on in these things. I don't just mean sloppy cooking, or the fact that they're cooking obscenely pricey and prestigious dishes for a very small set of people. I mean actual throwing away of perfectly good food.

Top Chef tends to have a mise en place relay every season, for instance, that usually involves butchering multiple chickens per team, chopping cups on cups of onions or apples, shucking dozens of oysters.... nothing is actually done with these things after. They're not used to cook. They're just an end. I'm watching Masterchef right now, and they've had over 30 contestants slicing apples for two hours straight, to test their knife skills. Later on in the show, if it's anything like last season, they'll have situations where everyone cooks, and only two or three dishes actually get eaten. The rest are just tossed.

And.... that strikes me as wrong. There are people starving in this country, let alone elsewhere in the world, and people who can't afford healthy food, and here they are just throwing away pounds upon pounds of healthy, tasty food. And that's aside from the fact that these shows are supposed to be celebrating food, and in the case of one of them, cooking for regular, everyday people. It kind of goes against the entire point of the show, when you think about it.

I know myself well enough to know that I'm not likely to stop watching, at least not right now - though it may keep me from coming back next season. But it would really make my day to hear about a show like this that, say, actually used the extra ingredients to make food for shelters, or food banks. I think that'd be a lot more likely to impress me as a viewer than any number of glamour shots of waigyu beef, or sob stories about rags-to-riches competitors.....

X Men: First Class is the X-Men movie I wanted to see when I was 15 years old and in the heart of my comic-book geekery and obsession. I just didn't realize it at the time.

This is not to imply that it isn't entirely and utterly awesome right here and now - to the contrary, it is exactly all that. I can't put my finger on exactly what about it that's better than the previous movies (okay, previous first and maybe second. X3... we don't talk about it. We just pretend it doesn't exist.), but it just has the right feel of overstatement, drama, whiz-bang, goofiness, and heroism that captures the feel of the comics, for better or for worse. While this didn't have the characters I grew up with, it had the story, and the heart.

Also, without spoilering anything, it has the grooviest nuclear reactor ever, and demonstrates a true understanding that SCIENCE has a specific color.

As a side note, my husband is a hero and a stoic, patient man for sitting next to me through the whole thing, tolerating my inappropriate giggles and kissy-faces during the (hopefully) unintentionally and inappropriately romantic scenes, and my bouncing, cheering, and whispered questions about who the heck some of the characters were.

Now, if only Cowboys & Aliens turns out to be a third as awesome in reality as it is in my imagination, this will be a truly epic movie summer.....

Today has been an awesome and wonderful day in so many ways.

There was apple picking, in a new orchard - Berlin Orchard is wonderful, but it's far away, and for the past year or so their cider doughnuts have been.... less than ideal, so we decided to try somewhere else this year, and Shelburne Farm turned out to be a whole lot of fun.

They don't have quite the selection of apples that Berlin does, but they do have a moon bounce (alas, not for those of us over four feet in height, but such is life), fresh-baked doughnuts, hay rides, and (most importantly to me) Cortland apples. Plus, some of their trees are big enough to climb. Not that I'd ever do that.

So there were friends, and doughnuts, and a half-bushel of assorted apples, and the weather cooperated by being glorious and sunny and warm-but-not-hot. And then there was lunch, and returning home for the ritual First Apple-y Baked Goods of the Season. Apples were peeled and sliced, brown sugar and walnuts were mixed together, more brown sugar and butter were creamed, and soon the house smelled like the sort of true heaven that Yankee Candle stores can only dream of and present noxious chemical-laden shadows of.

But all of this pales in comparison to the true glory of the day, the most amazing cinematic experience of my life, the viewing of the World Premiere of Sharktopus!

I have been eagerly anticipating this movie since my angel of a husband first informed me of its incipient existence. I grew up on hideous B-movie giant monster flicks, and so this was like visual macaroni and cheese for me. Only with less macaroni, and lots more cheese.

It's awesome. It's amazing. It's awesomazing. I have to make up words for this movie, because there is nothing in the English language that can accurately describe it. I laughed so hard that I still have the hiccups, half an hour later. This is the sort of movie that can only be improved by watching with a handful of friends, and an even larger handful of small plush items to throw at the television when the plot, dialogue, or green-screen become too ridiculous to handle. And since I had all those things, I am a happy, happy girl.

My adoration for this movie knows no bounds. I cannot wait until Sharktopus II: Revenge of Sharktopus is made. Until then, I will have to console myself with fanfic, paraphernalia, and rewatching the darn thing until my TiVo wears out.

I want Sharktopus to take me to school. I want him to fight Dino-Croc. If I were polyamorous, I would totally marry Sharktopus. He's just misunderstood, you know. And he shares my taste in dance performances.

(Hugs and kisses to to the first person to make me a Sharktopus user icon. Hugs, kisses, and my undying affection to the one who finds me the soundtrack....)

The world is a better place for having this movie in it. Or at least, my world is.