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Herding cats
Jul. 26th, 2002 02:28 pmSometimes I don't know why I bother.
Somehow I always seem to be driven with a need to accomplish the impossible, especially when it pertains to geek-wrangling. I love my friends dearly, but trying to organize them to do anything is.... argh. It would be easier and less painful to just surgically open my own abdomen and install a permanent window so I can just shove a hand in and munge my own guts around at will, to get the same nauseated feeling that comes when I inevitably fail, without having to actually go through the effort of trying.
When I take a step back, and look at things objectively, I know I'm overreacting. I know that people have lives, and that trying to organize a get-together is just difficult, and I can't expect them to drop everything to do what I want. But... it's so easy to leap to the conclusion that I'm just not worth anybody's time or attention, and that noone on this stupid dirtball cares about me enough to come to my gatherings, and half of them don't even care enough to reply to my invitation at all, even to say no.
And I know this isn't true, and I know I'm overreacting, and I know I shouldn't let it get to me. And I know that if I try to reschedule for next week, it still probably won't work, and I'll just get another case of the mopes, for no legitemate reason. And I know that my hyper-motivated, hyper-organized personality is going to try anyway, no matter what my reasonable, objective brain says.
So, anyone want to try to catch a free showing of 'Henry V' on Boston Commons *next* Sunday, the 4th?
Somehow I always seem to be driven with a need to accomplish the impossible, especially when it pertains to geek-wrangling. I love my friends dearly, but trying to organize them to do anything is.... argh. It would be easier and less painful to just surgically open my own abdomen and install a permanent window so I can just shove a hand in and munge my own guts around at will, to get the same nauseated feeling that comes when I inevitably fail, without having to actually go through the effort of trying.
When I take a step back, and look at things objectively, I know I'm overreacting. I know that people have lives, and that trying to organize a get-together is just difficult, and I can't expect them to drop everything to do what I want. But... it's so easy to leap to the conclusion that I'm just not worth anybody's time or attention, and that noone on this stupid dirtball cares about me enough to come to my gatherings, and half of them don't even care enough to reply to my invitation at all, even to say no.
And I know this isn't true, and I know I'm overreacting, and I know I shouldn't let it get to me. And I know that if I try to reschedule for next week, it still probably won't work, and I'll just get another case of the mopes, for no legitemate reason. And I know that my hyper-motivated, hyper-organized personality is going to try anyway, no matter what my reasonable, objective brain says.
So, anyone want to try to catch a free showing of 'Henry V' on Boston Commons *next* Sunday, the 4th?
