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Self-Indulgent Whining
Mar. 22nd, 2004 07:21 pmThere's a kind of deep patheticness to being sort-of sick. As far as I can tell, I have an extraordinarily mild flu. A few degrees of fever, icy bones and burning skin, an inability to eat anything more complex than oatmeal.... but I'm not earth-shatteringly ill. It would almost be easier if I were.
Being seriously sick at least lends a victim a sort of legitimacy. Other people can see that you're sick. There's no question about the fact that you are incapacitated. And you're preoccupied enough with being sick that you don't worry as much about whether you're avoiding productivity, or being lazy, or losing valuable time.
Sort-of sick doesn't have any of that. You still feel miserable, but you're aware of the fact that it's not as bad as it could be, and that if you really were a strong and motivated person, you could be up and about actually getting things done instead of sitting at home like a sofa cushion. Arguments that you're conserving energy don't get you anywhere, because you know that you have to go to work before you're entirely recovered anyway, with the further frustration that you won't be actually sick-looking enough at work to get any sympathy from your coworkers.
At least I'm blessed with a devoted fiance who has spent the day quietly tidying the house, providing me with ginger ale, and letting me alternately nap and watch mind-numbing but amusing movies. I really shouldn't gripe at all, I suppose....
Being seriously sick at least lends a victim a sort of legitimacy. Other people can see that you're sick. There's no question about the fact that you are incapacitated. And you're preoccupied enough with being sick that you don't worry as much about whether you're avoiding productivity, or being lazy, or losing valuable time.
Sort-of sick doesn't have any of that. You still feel miserable, but you're aware of the fact that it's not as bad as it could be, and that if you really were a strong and motivated person, you could be up and about actually getting things done instead of sitting at home like a sofa cushion. Arguments that you're conserving energy don't get you anywhere, because you know that you have to go to work before you're entirely recovered anyway, with the further frustration that you won't be actually sick-looking enough at work to get any sympathy from your coworkers.
At least I'm blessed with a devoted fiance who has spent the day quietly tidying the house, providing me with ginger ale, and letting me alternately nap and watch mind-numbing but amusing movies. I really shouldn't gripe at all, I suppose....
