Speculating

Why aren't there any magazines for grooms, stuffed with cloying cologne samples and condescending Q&A columns and overinflated timelines including such liberated items as 'when to get your botox injections' and 'when to start your lose-20-pounds wedding diet' and 'when it's okay to pee during the wedding day?'

Alternatively, why am I still looking at these atrocities when my wedding is already planned, my contracts signed, my details polished, and the only thing really left on my personal agenda is 'try not to die a horrible flaming death or get unrepairably mutilated in the next 18 days?'

Oh, yeah. Because they're funny. And because I'm sick enough that I'll miss the world of white taffeta just a little bit when it's all done....