Becky Versus the Sari, Round One

Because I don't have enough hobbies in my life, and more realistically because I plan on learning every dance form known to humankind before I die, I have recently started dabbling in Indian dance. Between the fact that I have found this incredibly fun and challenging, and the fact that saris are much less heinous in hot summer weather than just about any other SCA garb I can imagine, I had decided to get myself some saris for summer wear and dancing. And thanks to the keen and wonderful lakshmi_amman, I am now the proud owner of two beautiful shiny colorful saris of my very own.

Having an actual chunk of free time this evening, and knowing that I can't count on having someone to wrap me up like a spiffy patterned Person Enchilada every time I feel like wearing them, I decided to actually learn how to drape my own sari tonight. It should be simple, I thought. There's a web page with detailed instructions and pictures, and I've had it done to me a couple of times so I know what it should look and feel like as it goes on. It's just a big sheet of cloth, how hard can it be?

Find the center, wrap around my waist, tie a knot. Easy enough, so far. Wrap one part around my left leg. Stop, unwrap until I can bend my knee, try again. Stop, deflate the giant leg balloon, try again. Stop, untwist the fabric, try again. Okay. Pleat the short end, and tuck the remainder into the waist. Wonder how the lower end wound up around my knee instead of my ankle. Unpleat, unwrap, try again.

Eventually master the left leg. Trying not to move for fear of shaking loose the precariously packaged limb, proceed to right leg. Same wrap procedure, this time leaving an extra two feet at the end to dangle artfully in the center as a pleated fishtail. Realize that, for some reason, my fishtail is far too long, and that even with the maximum dangle, I am somehow left with an extra three yards of fabric that needs to be wudged into my waistband, leaving me wearing the Indian equivalent of a pair of highly asymmetrical M.C. Hammer pants. With, of course, an artfully dangling fishtail in the center.

For anyone seeking to maximize the size of their hips and butt, I can highly recommend new, starchy saris in a fishtail drape.

Honestly, though, I'm impressed that I've managed to get the thing on, wrapped, decent, and steady - I've been wearing it around the house for an hour or so now in the hopes that it'll somehow relax and look slightly more like elegant clothing and less clownish, and while the relaxing is a slow process, at least nothing has fallen off yet. We'll see how I survive next week's attempt to keep the wrap in place while I dance....