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Updating for Its Own Sake
Dec. 21st, 2006 10:36 pmI just looked back over the past month or two, and realized how much I've been writing - or, to be more specific, how much I haven't been writing. It's odd. I keep thinking of things to write about, and intending to write, and never quite getting around to it. Either the ideas don't seem quite meritous enough on their own, or I don't have the time, or I can't quite make myself get up off the sofa and turn the computer on.
I'm getting better. I'm not quite as miserable and ragged around the edges as I was a month or two ago. I'm still rough in spots, and feeling a bit overwhelmed even at the best of times, but I'm clearly hanging in there instead of just not-dead-yet. I'm sleeping a little bit better, smiling a little more, and every once in a while I can stop worrying about yesterday long enough to stop thinking about tomorrow.
What I need to do now, though, is actually write here a little more. Putting pen to paper has always been therapeutic for me - I still have stacks upon stacks of single subject spiral-bound notebooks dating back to ninth grade - and I imagine that putting fingers to keyboard should be at least similar if not the same. I just need to get past the idea that I need to write witty and entertaining stories for my audience, and be willing to write whatever words come to mind. There's nothing wrong with just plain journaling, and I ought to remember that.
Today was fairly slow at work. I was at a nice-enough clinic, but my surgery wound up not happening, and the appointments were clustered at the beginning and end of the day, so I actually spent the overwhelming majority of my time curled up in the doctor's office with a big, fat book on the desk and a little, plump dog (belonging to the office manager) on my lap. I can think of worse ways to pass the time, honestly. I felt a bit guilty that I wasn't doing actual work-related stuff, but I finished reading my last journal around 11:00am, and it *is* almost Christmas.
Tomorrow morning I'll assemble some cookies, and then it's off to work at one of my favorite clinics. One more work-day left in this year; hopefully it'll be a not-unpleasant one. I'd like to end things on enough of an up-note that I can look forward to returning in a week or so.....
I'm getting better. I'm not quite as miserable and ragged around the edges as I was a month or two ago. I'm still rough in spots, and feeling a bit overwhelmed even at the best of times, but I'm clearly hanging in there instead of just not-dead-yet. I'm sleeping a little bit better, smiling a little more, and every once in a while I can stop worrying about yesterday long enough to stop thinking about tomorrow.
What I need to do now, though, is actually write here a little more. Putting pen to paper has always been therapeutic for me - I still have stacks upon stacks of single subject spiral-bound notebooks dating back to ninth grade - and I imagine that putting fingers to keyboard should be at least similar if not the same. I just need to get past the idea that I need to write witty and entertaining stories for my audience, and be willing to write whatever words come to mind. There's nothing wrong with just plain journaling, and I ought to remember that.
Today was fairly slow at work. I was at a nice-enough clinic, but my surgery wound up not happening, and the appointments were clustered at the beginning and end of the day, so I actually spent the overwhelming majority of my time curled up in the doctor's office with a big, fat book on the desk and a little, plump dog (belonging to the office manager) on my lap. I can think of worse ways to pass the time, honestly. I felt a bit guilty that I wasn't doing actual work-related stuff, but I finished reading my last journal around 11:00am, and it *is* almost Christmas.
Tomorrow morning I'll assemble some cookies, and then it's off to work at one of my favorite clinics. One more work-day left in this year; hopefully it'll be a not-unpleasant one. I'd like to end things on enough of an up-note that I can look forward to returning in a week or so.....
