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So Far, So Good
Jan. 7th, 2009 11:04 amThe downside of everything going well for me right now is that, frustratingly, stupidly, and unreasonably, I wind up feeling guilty at being happy when everyone around me seems to be going through so much difficulty and pain.
So far this year, everything seems to be looking up. My aunt is recovering from her stroke, well enough that she's been moved from the hospital to a local rehab facility. Work is starting to pick up - January is still slow enough that things are going to be tight, but February is fully booked. And I'm lucky enough that, for us, tight means 'maybe cut back on restaurants and books and luxury foods,' rather than 'no heat/phone/mortgage.'
I'm healthy. I'm able to be active. There's a local middle eastern dance class starting next week - something I've wanted to learn for years - at a nearby facility, on a night I've got otherwise free, for almost free. I've been invited to be in a play that sounds like it should be a lot of fun. Arisia is coming up, and I'm on enough panels to get my comp without interfering with my fun.
My house is strong and safe and warm. My cars work. I have a husband who loves me, and treats me like a princess, and respects me; and I love and cherish and respect him, and we're happy.
And there's a part of me that feels that it's unfair that things are going so well for me, while everyone around me seems to have pieces of their world falling apart. Not to the point that I don't appreciate my luck, or that it'll keep me from cherishing every bit of it, but... I kind of wish that I could take at least part of the goodness that I have right now and give it to the folks I know who are hurting.
I'll take what I have, though, and at least try to make the best of it. At least, while things are smooth here, it means I have enough spare energy and strength to try to be there for those who might not....
So far this year, everything seems to be looking up. My aunt is recovering from her stroke, well enough that she's been moved from the hospital to a local rehab facility. Work is starting to pick up - January is still slow enough that things are going to be tight, but February is fully booked. And I'm lucky enough that, for us, tight means 'maybe cut back on restaurants and books and luxury foods,' rather than 'no heat/phone/mortgage.'
I'm healthy. I'm able to be active. There's a local middle eastern dance class starting next week - something I've wanted to learn for years - at a nearby facility, on a night I've got otherwise free, for almost free. I've been invited to be in a play that sounds like it should be a lot of fun. Arisia is coming up, and I'm on enough panels to get my comp without interfering with my fun.
My house is strong and safe and warm. My cars work. I have a husband who loves me, and treats me like a princess, and respects me; and I love and cherish and respect him, and we're happy.
And there's a part of me that feels that it's unfair that things are going so well for me, while everyone around me seems to have pieces of their world falling apart. Not to the point that I don't appreciate my luck, or that it'll keep me from cherishing every bit of it, but... I kind of wish that I could take at least part of the goodness that I have right now and give it to the folks I know who are hurting.
I'll take what I have, though, and at least try to make the best of it. At least, while things are smooth here, it means I have enough spare energy and strength to try to be there for those who might not....
