Stranger Than Imagination

Conversations With My Husband Upon Watching Daytime TV While Recovering From General Anesthesia

Me: Honey? They gave me lots of drugs at the hospital.

Husband: Yes, sweetie, they did. You should rest.

Me: I'm resting, honest. But... the stuff they gave me. That can mess with my mind and perceptions, right?

Husband: Yes, it probably can. Are you okay? Do you need anything?

Me: I think I'm hallucinating.

Husband: Huh?

Me: Did they honestly just show a McDonald's commercial where all the employees were dancing around with bricks in their pants while someone sang 'I like square butts and I cannot lie,' as part of a Spongebob Squarepants happy meal tie-in?

Husband: You're not hallucinating, honey, that really happened.

Me: (*wordless whimper*) What is the point of being drugged up on valium and opiates when the everyday TV commercials are far more messed up and disturbing than anything my tripping brain can make up?

Husband: Maybe you should just take a nap....