![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
On Compassion
Apr. 24th, 2009 07:51 amBear with me, this is just something that I've been noodling over in my head lately. I don't know if it means anything, I don't know if it even will make sense to anyone but me, but it's been trapped there in my brain and maybe it'll be easier to think over if I put it into words.
I'm good at being compassionate. It's something I have to do for my job, and it's one of my areas of expertise - some vets are very good at surgery, some are very good at handling vicious dogs or performing ultrasounds, I'm good at handling emotional, upset people. Part of it is reflex, but a lot of it is conscious. I can look at a person, as I'm having to help them with a hard choice or give bad news, and read them, and respond appropriately. This person is the sort that needs a hug, this one just needs her hand held, for that one I should sit on the floor and pet their dog, for someone else I should just stand and look them in the eye.
The thing is, it *is* a conscious choice, and a decision, to act a certain way. I'm thinking, and choosing, at the same time that I'm emoting and sharing and holding hands and whatever. It's still an emotional decision, but it's an intellectual one as well. And there's a part of me that can't help but think that this makes it less sincere - that I'm not *actually* being compassionate, that I'm just manipulating people instead.
So... ultimately, what is compassion? What makes a gesture compassionate? Does it have to be instinctual and reflexive, or is it okay to make logical choices about your reactions and responses? I'm not sure I have any more answers after writing this out....
I'm good at being compassionate. It's something I have to do for my job, and it's one of my areas of expertise - some vets are very good at surgery, some are very good at handling vicious dogs or performing ultrasounds, I'm good at handling emotional, upset people. Part of it is reflex, but a lot of it is conscious. I can look at a person, as I'm having to help them with a hard choice or give bad news, and read them, and respond appropriately. This person is the sort that needs a hug, this one just needs her hand held, for that one I should sit on the floor and pet their dog, for someone else I should just stand and look them in the eye.
The thing is, it *is* a conscious choice, and a decision, to act a certain way. I'm thinking, and choosing, at the same time that I'm emoting and sharing and holding hands and whatever. It's still an emotional decision, but it's an intellectual one as well. And there's a part of me that can't help but think that this makes it less sincere - that I'm not *actually* being compassionate, that I'm just manipulating people instead.
So... ultimately, what is compassion? What makes a gesture compassionate? Does it have to be instinctual and reflexive, or is it okay to make logical choices about your reactions and responses? I'm not sure I have any more answers after writing this out....
