![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
None Of The Above
May. 9th, 2010 10:41 amAdmittedly, I have never seen the show in question - but having seen commercials for it, and having seen their cameo appearance on Top Chef Masters, I have come to the following realization:
The Real Housewives Of Wherever is the banana moon pie of reality television.
Banana moon pies, for those who have not had the dubious pleasure of encountering them, are a snack food that is not even close to what it claims to be. A banana moon pie has no banana. It has no moon. And it is not a pie. It's... it's just weird. Cake-like stuff with Whipped Filling and pasty yellow coating, but no banana. It is, in fact, none of the things in its name.
Real Housewives are not real. Nor are they housewives. And I would question whether they're actually from New Jersey, or Atlanta, or wherever. I have met real housewives of New Jersey. They wear tennis shoes, and shop at Pathmark, and sometimes they have frosted hair and wear too much gold jewelry, but they do not bear any resemblance to those shrink-wrapped, varnished liches doing their best to resemble their Bratz dolls phylacteries.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure no one would tune in to watch a tv show where a 45-year-old woman in a Beadazzled sweatsuit made Rice Krispie treats and went to work as a bookkeeper at a company that manufactures pipe fittings, then came home to clip coupons for frozen waffles and Hamburger Helper.
Then again, maybe they would....
The Real Housewives Of Wherever is the banana moon pie of reality television.
Banana moon pies, for those who have not had the dubious pleasure of encountering them, are a snack food that is not even close to what it claims to be. A banana moon pie has no banana. It has no moon. And it is not a pie. It's... it's just weird. Cake-like stuff with Whipped Filling and pasty yellow coating, but no banana. It is, in fact, none of the things in its name.
Real Housewives are not real. Nor are they housewives. And I would question whether they're actually from New Jersey, or Atlanta, or wherever. I have met real housewives of New Jersey. They wear tennis shoes, and shop at Pathmark, and sometimes they have frosted hair and wear too much gold jewelry, but they do not bear any resemblance to those shrink-wrapped, varnished liches doing their best to resemble their Bratz dolls phylacteries.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure no one would tune in to watch a tv show where a 45-year-old woman in a Beadazzled sweatsuit made Rice Krispie treats and went to work as a bookkeeper at a company that manufactures pipe fittings, then came home to clip coupons for frozen waffles and Hamburger Helper.
Then again, maybe they would....
