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The best thing about being sick is how good it feels when you stop. I had honestly forgotten how good it feels to be hungry - admittedly, not skipped-meal, low-blood-sugar, grumpy-miserable hungry, but at least to actually want to eat, and to look forward to food with anticipation instead of dread. And most of all, for me, it feels good to want to cook again.
I am an omnivore by nature, and I love to cook more than just about anything. Today is the first time that I'm looking forward to that again, and I'm having a hard time not going overboard. There's a part of me that wants to plan a fancy dinner and bake cookies and generally use every ingredient in the house, just because I can. At least I'll hopefully have company this weekend, and I'll be able to entertain myself by feeding them.
The worst thing about being sick is feeling like my body has betrayed me. I'm usually a fairly healthy person. And I'm happiest when I'm active and exercising. Unfortunately for the last month I've either been sick or been recovering from being sick. I was trying to train for a 5K run; instead of being most of the way through the training, I'm going to have to go back to week one. I usually work out 4 or 5 times a week; I don't think I've managed more than four or five workouts in the past month, and most of those have been the kind of gentle yoga that doesn't even raise my pulse, that I do just so I can sleep.
I know it's not a race, and it's not a contest, and I won't lose anything or get punished for being less active for a month or so. But at the same time, it feels unfair and wrong, like I'm desperately losing ground. I don't like feeling weak and tired, and I don't like knowing that I can't do what I want to. And the hardest part is not pushing - I'm trying to decide right now whether I'm well enough to run tonight, or whether that would be too much too soon; I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to taking things slowly and recovering.
But I am recovering, at least, and that's better than the alternative....
I am an omnivore by nature, and I love to cook more than just about anything. Today is the first time that I'm looking forward to that again, and I'm having a hard time not going overboard. There's a part of me that wants to plan a fancy dinner and bake cookies and generally use every ingredient in the house, just because I can. At least I'll hopefully have company this weekend, and I'll be able to entertain myself by feeding them.
The worst thing about being sick is feeling like my body has betrayed me. I'm usually a fairly healthy person. And I'm happiest when I'm active and exercising. Unfortunately for the last month I've either been sick or been recovering from being sick. I was trying to train for a 5K run; instead of being most of the way through the training, I'm going to have to go back to week one. I usually work out 4 or 5 times a week; I don't think I've managed more than four or five workouts in the past month, and most of those have been the kind of gentle yoga that doesn't even raise my pulse, that I do just so I can sleep.
I know it's not a race, and it's not a contest, and I won't lose anything or get punished for being less active for a month or so. But at the same time, it feels unfair and wrong, like I'm desperately losing ground. I don't like feeling weak and tired, and I don't like knowing that I can't do what I want to. And the hardest part is not pushing - I'm trying to decide right now whether I'm well enough to run tonight, or whether that would be too much too soon; I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to taking things slowly and recovering.
But I am recovering, at least, and that's better than the alternative....
