![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Back In The Rhythm Of Things
Oct. 19th, 2012 11:01 amThe real downside of coping with my spinal/shoulder injury for me has been the activity restriction. Pain is a drag, and the numbness is scary, but each of those things by themselves is survivable. The inability to move and be active and to exercise, though, has been a growing problem.
Exercise has become crucial to my mental health as well as my physical health - it's how I help keep my PTSD and related issues under control. When I'm active, I feel like I'm in control of my mind and my body. I just feel better. And having that taken away from me is scary and frustrating and upsetting, and on top of feeling tired and draggy and fat and lazy, all of the other problems start creeping back in.
And for the past month, pain and illness have been keeping my activity to a minimum. Unfortunately, my hopes that my physical therapist would clear me to go back to working out were in vain - in fact, she declared that I am not allowed to work out AT ALL for a minimum of another 6-8 weeks. No yoga, no strength training, no nothing except swimming (which gives me migraines from the chemicals in pool water) and biking (glorified sitting. No offense to cyclists; it just doesn't work for me.). Or maybe jogging.
So of course my brain grabbed onto the latter like a drowning man grasping at a life preserver. And she immediately backed off, and said that it was a bad idea and might make things worse. But eventually we agreed that, as long as it doesn't aggravate my symptoms, I'm allowed to try it.
Which meant that today was the first time since May that I went running. I'm torn between being chagrined at my loss of condition - I'm down from 28 minutes to 5-minute intervals - and elated at the memory of when even 5-minute intervals were impossible. But most of all, it just feels amazing to be moving again, to push my body and sweat and breathe hard and feel my muscles work and feel that release of tension and stress as it all melts away in the motion and exertion.
Oh, running. I never thought I would love you....
Exercise has become crucial to my mental health as well as my physical health - it's how I help keep my PTSD and related issues under control. When I'm active, I feel like I'm in control of my mind and my body. I just feel better. And having that taken away from me is scary and frustrating and upsetting, and on top of feeling tired and draggy and fat and lazy, all of the other problems start creeping back in.
And for the past month, pain and illness have been keeping my activity to a minimum. Unfortunately, my hopes that my physical therapist would clear me to go back to working out were in vain - in fact, she declared that I am not allowed to work out AT ALL for a minimum of another 6-8 weeks. No yoga, no strength training, no nothing except swimming (which gives me migraines from the chemicals in pool water) and biking (glorified sitting. No offense to cyclists; it just doesn't work for me.). Or maybe jogging.
So of course my brain grabbed onto the latter like a drowning man grasping at a life preserver. And she immediately backed off, and said that it was a bad idea and might make things worse. But eventually we agreed that, as long as it doesn't aggravate my symptoms, I'm allowed to try it.
Which meant that today was the first time since May that I went running. I'm torn between being chagrined at my loss of condition - I'm down from 28 minutes to 5-minute intervals - and elated at the memory of when even 5-minute intervals were impossible. But most of all, it just feels amazing to be moving again, to push my body and sweat and breathe hard and feel my muscles work and feel that release of tension and stress as it all melts away in the motion and exertion.
Oh, running. I never thought I would love you....
