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Endings and Passings
Sep. 8th, 2013 11:18 amSixteen years ago, give or take, I went to the Assembly Square Mall to buy tomato stakes for my garden. They had a crappy pet store, and I saw a kit outside holding a couple of kittens. I was afraid he'd bought them from the store, and was ready to go on a tirade about the evils of pet stores, until I realized he was giving them away.
(Clever kid.)
Anyway, I went to pet one of the kittens and it held onto my hand and wouldn't let go, and that's how I came home with Percival. I had just gotten my letter of acceptance into vet school a few weeks ago, and I was looking at moving 800 miles away from everyone and everything I knew and loved, and I thought it would be nice to have a cat to take with me.
And he's been with me, through every milestone, since then. He was there for my first day of vet school, and for my graduation. He was there when I got my first job as a doctor; when I moved in with my boyfriend, when we got engaged, got married, bought our house. I can't think of anyone else who can say that. He slept with me, on my pillow at night, he kept me company when I lived alone and entertained friends and housemates when I wasn't. He shaped my world.
And today I said goodbye to him.
He'd been doing poorly for a while. After years and years of perfect health, everything caught up with him a few months ago. Heart disease, thyroid disease, kidney disease, lung cancer. All diagnosed the same week. I did as much as I could, but I realized this week that he wasn't eating; wasn't sleeping in his favorite places; wasn't doing much of anything except moving between the sofa and my pillow. He was having trouble standing and walking, and nothing I tried helped. And with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
umbran getting ready to travel for work, I couldn't face the prospect of keeping him alive, miserable and suffering, waiting for him to come home.
So I took him in to work this morning, and hugged him and held him and cried, and I did the last thing I could to bring him peace. And I know I should feel good that I could do that, and someday I will, but right now I just feel like there's a giant hole in my life where he used to be....
(Clever kid.)
Anyway, I went to pet one of the kittens and it held onto my hand and wouldn't let go, and that's how I came home with Percival. I had just gotten my letter of acceptance into vet school a few weeks ago, and I was looking at moving 800 miles away from everyone and everything I knew and loved, and I thought it would be nice to have a cat to take with me.
And he's been with me, through every milestone, since then. He was there for my first day of vet school, and for my graduation. He was there when I got my first job as a doctor; when I moved in with my boyfriend, when we got engaged, got married, bought our house. I can't think of anyone else who can say that. He slept with me, on my pillow at night, he kept me company when I lived alone and entertained friends and housemates when I wasn't. He shaped my world.
And today I said goodbye to him.
He'd been doing poorly for a while. After years and years of perfect health, everything caught up with him a few months ago. Heart disease, thyroid disease, kidney disease, lung cancer. All diagnosed the same week. I did as much as I could, but I realized this week that he wasn't eating; wasn't sleeping in his favorite places; wasn't doing much of anything except moving between the sofa and my pillow. He was having trouble standing and walking, and nothing I tried helped. And with
umbran getting ready to travel for work, I couldn't face the prospect of keeping him alive, miserable and suffering, waiting for him to come home. So I took him in to work this morning, and hugged him and held him and cried, and I did the last thing I could to bring him peace. And I know I should feel good that I could do that, and someday I will, but right now I just feel like there's a giant hole in my life where he used to be....
