Beauty

I know that each year, as the seasons turn, I mourn the passing of summer. I lament the fact that the sun sets earlier than 8pm, chopping my days into shorter and shorter bits of sunlight in what feels like an ocean of darkness. I miss the warmth that keeps me feeling safe and strong, and the greenness and life everywhere, and all the time outdoors.

At the same time, though, if I have to let go of summer, at least I am lucky enough to live in New England, where fall is the most beautiful thing in the world. Summer has light and warmth, but even my beloved long, hot days can't rival the sheer vividness and brightness and color of the trees here in October. Even driving to work is a chance to soak in the glory of red and gold and orange and burgundy; and the smells of smoke and leaves and rain are everywhere...

It won't last long, and soon I'll be surrounded by wet chill and bare branches and struggling to catch what feels like the five minutes of sunlight available to me every day, but for now, at least, fall is a valid apology for robbing me of summer...

Disability Advice?

So. When I talked to my therapist today about the amount of pain I'm in, and the way it's impacting my ability to eat, sleep, perform everyday functions, and think, she said I needed to get out of work and on disability ASAP.

I had been figuring on going on short-term disability when I had surgery, but apparently I need to move a little faster. I have an appointment with a neurosurgeon near the end of the month, but in the meantime I need to work on getting interim medical insurance (because ANOTHER snafu left us still uninsured, this time until November) and a new PCP and starting disability paperwork right away.

There's just one problem.

I'm self-employed. And I was always told that, because of that, if I ever needed disability I could just count on social security. But apparently, as I just found out tonight, Social Security Disability is only for cases where you're going to be out of work for over a year. They don't provide short-term disability.

So. I'm trying not to view this as another catastrophe, or yet more proof that I'm doomed and that the universe wants to condemn me to a short, miserable life of pain and suffering. And instead I'm asking for advice.

Does anybody out there know anything about short-term disability, especially for self-employed individuals? Especially especially, say, in cases where they're already diagnosed with an injury? I don't yet have any doctors saying I need it (my therapist isn't an MD), but the diagnosis of herniated discs is already out there...

Please, and thank you...