Another Goodbye

I had a wonderful weekend, with friends and love and support, and I was surprised in the best possible way with how caring and compassionate and welcoming and helpful the people in my life are, whether they're old friends or people I just met.

And then we came home and found out that, while we were away, umbran's mother passed away.

She had been having health problems off and on for a little while now, and I know we were both worried about her, but with her living in Latvia there was precious little we could do except worry, and give what advice and support we could send from a distance.

Her passing is a surprise, and a sadness, but at the same time... we don't have to worry about her anymore, and we don't have to imagine what problems and pain she may be facing. It's a small blessing in the face of this.

I miss her. She was good to me, from the first day I met her (admittedly, several years after we started dating). She treated me like her own daughter. She taught me how to bake her favorite breads, and gave me books on Latvian customs and clothing, and made me skirts and sent me birthday cards and more bits of amber jewelry than I can count. When we got engaged, she was the one who was adamant that I not have an "affordable" ring, and arranged for the family's heirloom jewelry to be delivered from overseas so I could be properly bejeweled.

I know my memories of her are obviously and profoundly different from umbran's, and that I got the Good Parts version, but what stands out to me most of all is how she always sounded like she was about to start laughing. I felt so lucky to be welcomed into her family and her heart.

So. Gratitude for having her in my life for as long as I did, pain for having spent these last few years with her so far away, sorrow at her passing, joy in her memory.... it's an emotionally overwhelming evening.

I miss her.