Thoughts From An Overmedicated Mind

(Or, what I spent my night pondering between doses of oxycodone and valium....)

Okay - so, as humans, one of our biggest defining traits is our gender/sexuality spectrum, and where we identify on that spectrum with regards to biology, attraction, identity, and self.

So. If we were instead sentient dinosaurs, would we instead or also wind up pondering our identity on the carnivore/herbivore spectrum? Would omnivores be seen as greedy, or indecisive, and would there be a market for prosthetic teeth, and digestive surgery?

Somehow this seemed very important when I first woke up....

Two Steps Back

....on the other hand, reports of my rapid and easy recovery may have been a bit premature.

Sunday I was feeling remarkably good, all things considered. Yesterday was a little rockier, though, and today? Today I'm back to feeling like death on a cracker.

I'm willing to lay most of this at the feet of the steroids they had to put me on to help with the nerve damage in my throat - they have a lot of the same side effects as the NSAIDs that wound up with me in the ER a couple of weeks ago. So I'm right back in the same boat of nausea, loss of appetite, weakness, and generally feeling completely miserable.

Pain-wise.... could be better, could be worse. It's hard to figure out how much is post-surgical pain, how much is chronic muscle tension from curling up to get away from internal misery, and how much is just generalized misery.

I hate hate hate hate hate being on a list of drugs that's three pages long. I hate that half of my meds are there just to combat side effects from other meds. And I hate feeling like a science experiment.

I just want to be better, please. I want to eat a bagel. I want to not have the inside of my mouth taste like sour death. I want just one of my organs to work like it's supposed to.

I am tired of being sick....