Just Another Step Along The Path

I promised myself I wouldn't make a whiny, vague, passive-aggressive post about my grumpy experience at the gym this afternoon. So I won't. But that doesn't mean I can't talk about my experience, or my emotions.

So I'm still not recovering very well from the most recent car accident. I'm still in a lot of pain; as I write this muscles under my right shoulder blade are spasming and twitching in rather odd and unpleasant ways in spite of the megadose of valium I took earlier. But I'm doing everything I can to get better, and that includes walking.

And, since it's midwinter and it's cold and snowy out there, I've been using the Tufts gym as my walking-place. umbran can drive me there when he gets home from work, and so most evenings we go there and walk around the track for half an hour or so. It helps me feel productive, on bad days it gives me a reason to get dressed and out of the house, it keeps me from losing even more condition, and the low-impact motion and activity actually helps with the pain in a pretty significant way.

And yeah, it sucks when I used to be able to run for half an hour, without breaks, to be limited to a slow walk, and it makes me feel kind of ashamed and kind of a prisoner in my own body, but it's a damn sight better than nothing.

So when the coach who was apparently supervising the 4 other people in the gym, who were running laps on the same (large, multi-lane) track yelled at us in a snotty tone that "Walkers, stay to the outer lanes; I have ATHLETES trying to run here,".... it hurt. A lot.

And I didn't cry, and I didn't yell at her (though I did point out that, last time we were walking in the outer lanes, we were told that walkers needed to stay to the inner lanes), but I kind of wish I could make a Public Service Announcement to Everyone At Gyms - the people there who aren't at your level of activity aren't automatically inferior beings. I'm not walking because I'm too lazy to run; I'm walking because I'm recovering from multiple severe spinal injuries. I'm an athlete too, and I deserve as much respect as anyone else on that track.

Also (and okay, this is venturing slightly into bitchery), if they're such athletes, shouldn't they be able to handle the strenuous ordeal of moving one foot to the left or right to pass us?

Please. Don't take away what has become my safe space for recovery; I don't know what I'll do without it.

On a brighter note, much gratitude to the door guard who seemed to notice I was upset and chatted with me until I was smiling again. I am absolutely baking you cookies next time I come in....