Silks 2 Week 2

So I think I've realized the primary problem. It's just that my teacher... isn't that great. She's not *bad,* she's just nowhere near as good as the teacher I had for Silks 1. And temperamentally, we're just a horrid mismatch.

I don't cope well with people trying to support me with dishonest, excessive praise. If I'm doing badly, about the worst thing a person can do is come to me and say 'Nooo, you were *beautiful!* That was AWESOME. You did SO WELL. That was WONDERFUL how you Did The Thing!' It annoys me, it upsets me, I know it's phony, and it feels condescending and I wind up wallowing in even worse shame at the thought that the person thinks I'm either so stupid that I can't tell they're blowing sunshine up my ass, or that they think I'm so fragile I can't deal with honesty.

I'd much rather someone tell me, 'yeah, that wasn't great, but you'll get better.' Or 'we can work on this.' Or just don't say anything, and let me work through it on my own. It's more honest. And it doesn't engage my stubborn, argumentative streak.

Unfortunately, my teacher is the sort who tries Very Hard to be very sweet and supportive, and doesn't know quite what to do when it just frustrates me more. But at least now that I recognize this, I can try to work around it. And I need to remember that, while I'm lousy at climbing, that I'm good at everything else - and that my trouble with climbing is more a matter of injury than anything else.

Anyway, what we did.....

( Hidden for those who are already bored by my babbling..... )