Resolution?
Apr. 15th, 2002 06:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteI'm mostly writing this down for myself - it's probably not of too much interest for people outside my head, but I want to have it noted permanently somewhere, so that when and if I need to see it, I can, and I don't have to count on imperfect memory to remind me that at least at one point my subconscious managed to have it's stuff together....
I had a dream about my father last night. Not a bizarre thing in and of itself - I tend to dream about him from time to time, mostly when things get rough and I'm just generally worried about everything. But last night... he was yelling and storming at me like always, and I told him to get out of my room. And he yelled and stormed more about how I was the one who was supposed to be told to leave, but he ended up leaving.
He tried to come back a little while later, and force his way in, but I put all my weight against the door and kept him out. He's a lot bigger and stronger than me, and it hurt - I had welts up and down my arms and my forehead from pressing against the edge of the door - but it worked. He couldn't come in.
I know this doesn't sound like a lot, but in a way it is. I've been keeping him out of my waking life for a while, but he's always managed to finagle his way back into it whenever he *really* puts his mind to it, and I've never been able to best him in my subconscious before. Maybe this is just a random burble; maybe it's about him or maybe it's a metaphor about the Drama Queen at work and my ability to deal with her. Or maybe it's a hint that I'll finally be able to put my nightmares behind me. Either way, I did it. Even if it's just this once, even if it's just in a dream. I did it, and that means I can do it again.
I had a dream about my father last night. Not a bizarre thing in and of itself - I tend to dream about him from time to time, mostly when things get rough and I'm just generally worried about everything. But last night... he was yelling and storming at me like always, and I told him to get out of my room. And he yelled and stormed more about how I was the one who was supposed to be told to leave, but he ended up leaving.
He tried to come back a little while later, and force his way in, but I put all my weight against the door and kept him out. He's a lot bigger and stronger than me, and it hurt - I had welts up and down my arms and my forehead from pressing against the edge of the door - but it worked. He couldn't come in.
I know this doesn't sound like a lot, but in a way it is. I've been keeping him out of my waking life for a while, but he's always managed to finagle his way back into it whenever he *really* puts his mind to it, and I've never been able to best him in my subconscious before. Maybe this is just a random burble; maybe it's about him or maybe it's a metaphor about the Drama Queen at work and my ability to deal with her. Or maybe it's a hint that I'll finally be able to put my nightmares behind me. Either way, I did it. Even if it's just this once, even if it's just in a dream. I did it, and that means I can do it again.
