There's a middle ground between telling someone they can do anything and telling someone they can't do anything. It can be hard to hit sometimes, but I think in their own way they're both equally damaging.
I do my best not to tell my friends they can't do X, though, just because I find it non-helpful, in addition to being hurtful. It doesn't mean I overpraise or lie, though; if they go on about wanting to do something that I think is unreasonable, it seems a lot more helpful and supportive to me to say something like 'Are you sure you want to do that?' or 'Maybe you should try X (Step One) first before you try to tackle that.'
That's just me, though, and I am the product of my own experiences.....
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 10:52 am (UTC)I do my best not to tell my friends they can't do X, though, just because I find it non-helpful, in addition to being hurtful. It doesn't mean I overpraise or lie, though; if they go on about wanting to do something that I think is unreasonable, it seems a lot more helpful and supportive to me to say something like 'Are you sure you want to do that?' or 'Maybe you should try X (Step One) first before you try to tackle that.'
That's just me, though, and I am the product of my own experiences.....