Forgive me if I repeat any themes from other commenters. I'm intentionally commenting without reading what others wrote because I want this to be straight from the heart. And it comes from someone who's enough older than you are to speak from experience.
It sounds as though you're asking the kinds of questions that are exactly age-appropriate, according to the school of psychology that sees maturing and aging as a matter of going through various stages, each with its own tasks. Taking stock is a great basis for moving forward.
It's not surprising that at some point you became older than your image of yourself. That's okay; it happens to everyone sooner or later. My mother explained this to me. She said that at some point your self-image stops aging, but your body keeps on going. She explained that this is why reflective shop windows become something of a shock as you get older. The trick is to develop a sense of humor about it. My own self-image stopped aging somewhere in my late 20s to early 30s. It makes me laugh each time I get an unexpected glimpse of my reflection and am surprised that I no longer look as I did back then. I'm glad my mother warned, me though!
As for giving up things you enjoy - Don't! It's not necessary to hold onto things which no longer interest you, but if you enjoy something, keep doing it. It's the interest and joy in living that keeps a person young in spirit, and that can affect how you look physically.
It's fine to continue enjoying the friendship of younger people as you age. I think it's far healthier than limiting yourself to people your own age. My friends' ages range from decades younger than I to decades older. Why not? An interesting and convivial person is interesting and convivial no matter what age he/she happens to be.
Sure, friends of very different ages may enjoy some things that you don't. But they might also expose you to delightful experiences you'd never have had if you limited yourself to people your own age. If it wasn't for a friend much younger than I, I would never have heard of LJ, let alone joined. My life is much richer for this discovery and the new friends I've made here.
To me, it's not a matter of thinking of myself as more mature or older, it's more a matter of growing into a sense of my own competence and valuing the experiences I've had, and am going to have. In spite of the disconnect between my youthful self-image and my actual age and appearance, I like myself as I am. I'm not young anymore, and that's okay with me. I can joke about being "old" because in my heart I'm young, and hope always to be. As far as maturity goes, there are people I know who were more mature as pre-teens than others I know who are in their 60s and 70s.
I'd also suggest you not worry about style. You're self-aware enough to look in the mirror and know whether or not what you're wearing looks good on you. Some people should never wear miniskirts at any age. Then there's Tina Turner. If you like your hair long, keep it long. Who cares what someone else thinks? IMO anyone who thinks that certain hair styles are acceptable only for certain ages is out of touch with current fashion. Somewhere on-line (maybe Yahoo?) I recently read an article on this very subject. The author took the position that long hair can actually make a woman appear younger than her years. There were pictures and examples of gorgeous well-known women far older than you who wear their hair long.
So, to sum up: Do what you love, spend time with those you love, wear what you want, plan to do what you think is important and fulfilling, then do those things, and you'll be fine.
Lots of good things are in your future; may the coming year be filled with them!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-12-16 02:25 am (UTC)Forgive me if I repeat any themes from other commenters. I'm intentionally commenting without reading what others wrote because I want this to be straight from the heart. And it comes from someone who's enough older than you are to speak from experience.
It sounds as though you're asking the kinds of questions that are exactly age-appropriate, according to the school of psychology that sees maturing and aging as a matter of going through various stages, each with its own tasks. Taking stock is a great basis for moving forward.
It's not surprising that at some point you became older than your image of yourself. That's okay; it happens to everyone sooner or later. My mother explained this to me. She said that at some point your self-image stops aging, but your body keeps on going. She explained that this is why reflective shop windows become something of a shock as you get older. The trick is to develop a sense of humor about it. My own self-image stopped aging somewhere in my late 20s to early 30s. It makes me laugh each time I get an unexpected glimpse of my reflection and am surprised that I no longer look as I did back then. I'm glad my mother warned, me though!
As for giving up things you enjoy - Don't! It's not necessary to hold onto things which no longer interest you, but if you enjoy something, keep doing it. It's the interest and joy in living that keeps a person young in spirit, and that can affect how you look physically.
It's fine to continue enjoying the friendship of younger people as you age. I think it's far healthier than limiting yourself to people your own age. My friends' ages range from decades younger than I to decades older. Why not? An interesting and convivial person is interesting and convivial no matter what age he/she happens to be.
Sure, friends of very different ages may enjoy some things that you don't. But they might also expose you to delightful experiences you'd never have had if you limited yourself to people your own age. If it wasn't for a friend much younger than I, I would never have heard of LJ, let alone joined. My life is much richer for this discovery and the new friends I've made here.
To me, it's not a matter of thinking of myself as more mature or older, it's more a matter of growing into a sense of my own competence and valuing the experiences I've had, and am going to have. In spite of the disconnect between my youthful self-image and my actual age and appearance, I like myself as I am. I'm not young anymore, and that's okay with me. I can joke about being "old" because in my heart I'm young, and hope always to be. As far as maturity goes, there are people I know who were more mature as pre-teens than others I know who are in their 60s and 70s.
I'd also suggest you not worry about style. You're self-aware enough to look in the mirror and know whether or not what you're wearing looks good on you. Some people should never wear miniskirts at any age. Then there's Tina Turner. If you like your hair long, keep it long. Who cares what someone else thinks? IMO anyone who thinks that certain hair styles are acceptable only for certain ages is out of touch with current fashion. Somewhere on-line (maybe Yahoo?) I recently read an article on this very subject. The author took the position that long hair can actually make a woman appear younger than her years. There were pictures and examples of gorgeous well-known women far older than you who wear their hair long.
So, to sum up: Do what you love, spend time with those you love, wear what you want, plan to do what you think is important and fulfilling, then do those things, and you'll be fine.
Lots of good things are in your future; may the coming year be filled with them!