Taking My Own Advice
Jan. 22nd, 2004 04:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteAs far as I can tell, half of the sleeping world had nightmares last night. I suppose this should make me feel better about my own - I'm in good company, I guess. Other people have an idea of what it feels like. And so on, and so forth.
I should be able to deal with this better. I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember, and I know all the tricks for making them fade away and reminding myself that I'm awake. I've been doing so well - it's been over a year since the last time I've had a dream really, aggressively push it's way into my waking mind.
But today... all the light and sensation and focusing in the world can't erase the images from my mind. I know that it was a dream, I know that I'm awake now, and I know that it wasn't real, but if I stop focusing on not-thinking-about-it for more than a few moments, my mind falls back into quietly freaking out about the fact that there were Giant Spiders Living In My Arms. And I look down, and half expect to see them through my skin, and every brush of something unexpected against my arm leaves me half-jumping as I try not to scratch myself bloody pulling the spiders out.
Deep breaths.
It was just a dream. It's not the worst I've had, by a long shot, and I don't know why this particular image won't leave me alone. But it will fade eventually, and I can just hide it under a pile of projects and busy-ness until then. With any luck, it won't replay tonight, and I can then replace it with whatever mundane, tolerable nightmare my subconscious dregs up then.
I truly do hate spiders, though.....
I should be able to deal with this better. I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember, and I know all the tricks for making them fade away and reminding myself that I'm awake. I've been doing so well - it's been over a year since the last time I've had a dream really, aggressively push it's way into my waking mind.
But today... all the light and sensation and focusing in the world can't erase the images from my mind. I know that it was a dream, I know that I'm awake now, and I know that it wasn't real, but if I stop focusing on not-thinking-about-it for more than a few moments, my mind falls back into quietly freaking out about the fact that there were Giant Spiders Living In My Arms. And I look down, and half expect to see them through my skin, and every brush of something unexpected against my arm leaves me half-jumping as I try not to scratch myself bloody pulling the spiders out.
Deep breaths.
It was just a dream. It's not the worst I've had, by a long shot, and I don't know why this particular image won't leave me alone. But it will fade eventually, and I can just hide it under a pile of projects and busy-ness until then. With any luck, it won't replay tonight, and I can then replace it with whatever mundane, tolerable nightmare my subconscious dregs up then.
I truly do hate spiders, though.....
