Taking My Own Advice
Jan. 22nd, 2004 04:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteAs far as I can tell, half of the sleeping world had nightmares last night. I suppose this should make me feel better about my own - I'm in good company, I guess. Other people have an idea of what it feels like. And so on, and so forth.
I should be able to deal with this better. I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember, and I know all the tricks for making them fade away and reminding myself that I'm awake. I've been doing so well - it's been over a year since the last time I've had a dream really, aggressively push it's way into my waking mind.
But today... all the light and sensation and focusing in the world can't erase the images from my mind. I know that it was a dream, I know that I'm awake now, and I know that it wasn't real, but if I stop focusing on not-thinking-about-it for more than a few moments, my mind falls back into quietly freaking out about the fact that there were Giant Spiders Living In My Arms. And I look down, and half expect to see them through my skin, and every brush of something unexpected against my arm leaves me half-jumping as I try not to scratch myself bloody pulling the spiders out.
Deep breaths.
It was just a dream. It's not the worst I've had, by a long shot, and I don't know why this particular image won't leave me alone. But it will fade eventually, and I can just hide it under a pile of projects and busy-ness until then. With any luck, it won't replay tonight, and I can then replace it with whatever mundane, tolerable nightmare my subconscious dregs up then.
I truly do hate spiders, though.....
I should be able to deal with this better. I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember, and I know all the tricks for making them fade away and reminding myself that I'm awake. I've been doing so well - it's been over a year since the last time I've had a dream really, aggressively push it's way into my waking mind.
But today... all the light and sensation and focusing in the world can't erase the images from my mind. I know that it was a dream, I know that I'm awake now, and I know that it wasn't real, but if I stop focusing on not-thinking-about-it for more than a few moments, my mind falls back into quietly freaking out about the fact that there were Giant Spiders Living In My Arms. And I look down, and half expect to see them through my skin, and every brush of something unexpected against my arm leaves me half-jumping as I try not to scratch myself bloody pulling the spiders out.
Deep breaths.
It was just a dream. It's not the worst I've had, by a long shot, and I don't know why this particular image won't leave me alone. But it will fade eventually, and I can just hide it under a pile of projects and busy-ness until then. With any luck, it won't replay tonight, and I can then replace it with whatever mundane, tolerable nightmare my subconscious dregs up then.
I truly do hate spiders, though.....
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Date: 2004-01-22 02:10 pm (UTC)Meh. Nightmares are no good. I taught myself to change them years ago. I still dream lucidly every now and then. When I have bad dreams, I'm generally a bystander, and the terrible things are just things that are happening.
Mind you, I've had one or two really grotesque nightmare deals that have kicked my butt... but they're few and far between.
Usually I'm the one kicking butt. Actually, if you want, you can check out some of my dreams here.
Rest easy, hon. Peace!