So.

[ladysprite]

It's done. Out with the old job, in with the new. And just in time, apparently.

It was unpleasant. It was hurtful and bad. Apparently I am a bad employee, and my boss doesn't like me. Apparently nobody in the clinic likes me, because I am rude and unprofessional.

There's a not-quite-tiny part of my head that's whimpering and crying and telling me that he's right, and I am bad and unlikeable and that I'll have the same problems anywhere I go because the issue is with me and not the clinic. This is the part that is terrified of starting the new job, because it's far easier to believe someone telling me I'm bad than it is to believe someone telling me I'm good.

However, most of my mind is sending reassuring images of steady clientele, two out of three weekends off, no late nights, and a non-toxic work environment.

I hope the new place is good. I hope I can fit in there, instead of being the whipping girl. I hope that it's not me, and that I'm not automatically going to ruin anyplace I go with my rude unprofessional team-destroying demeanor.

I thought this was supposed to feel good.

Comments

[sabine791110.livejournal.com]

it's far easier to believe someone telling me I'm bad than it is to believe someone telling me I'm good.

I understand this thinking pattern far too well for my personal comfort.

*smile*hug* This too shall pass; life is good; breathe.

[freyja.livejournal.com]

i think it's obvious to anyone who listens to you that you are devoted to your job and to helping people and animals. i'm sorry that you had such a bad experience and i hope your new job is better. i can tell you that i've been in a similar situation (i was actually fired for no real reason other than, i can only suppose, that a particular coworker took a disliking to me and she was the prize pet of my inept boss) and it really affects my self-esteem even now; hopefully you will be able to bounce back quicker. bad work environments suck and i guess we just have to keep telling ourselves that it is not all our fault until we actually believe it. good luck with the new job and happy moving on! :)

[oakleaf-mirror.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Congratulations and best of luck with the new job!

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

GoodThoughts on the way for the new job and sour raspberries blown at the old one.

[figmo.livejournal.com]

People rarely get fired due to incompetence. They get fired or pushed out because someone doesn't like them. In my last job I was told my writing sucked by two women who couldn't write their way out of a brown paper bag.

At least at my radio jobs I'm given criticism (and not nearly as much, and a lot more praise) by folks who are competent.

Writers Unite!

[spectoria.livejournal.com]

Here! Here!

Why do non-writer majority like to oppress the writer minority?

I had a boss wave a document I had edited in my face and berate me for the "mistakes" and when I replied "The tracking has been turned off, you can't see the changes I made before I sent that document back to the PM. Obviously, the PM printed the document with the tracking turned off and that's what you are seeing here." She just got angry and claimed I was making excuses.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

My friend Alisa (who you might know, she used to come to OVFF) was nearly convinced, early in her career, that she should leave the field of law by an abusive boss. Mind you, she's one of the best and most conscientious family lawyers I've ever met -- but a couple of years working with one bullying asshole nearly broke her. It's hard not to believe what the bully is telling you until you have a baseline with which to compare it. This new position should provide you with that baseline, and a year from now you'll be looking back at this period and going, "What was I thinking?"

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well... first, keep in mind that, in a toxic environment, toxin, like heat, flows from higher concentrations to lower. You'd be the whipping girl in a toxic environment because you're toxin-free.

(Oh, and why would he be upset with your leaving if you were such a bad employee? Hmmm?)

So, shunt worries about the past being a predictor of the future away. They won't be.

I feel confident that things will work out much better in a new environment.

[siderea]

Oh, and why would he be upset with your leaving if you were such a bad employee?

Listen to this man, for he speaketh sooth. In my experience, bad employees that everyone else would be glad to see gone are warmly and gently encouraged to believe they'd be happier elsewhere. The, "here, let me hold that door for you" attitude.

Sounds like your boss is a vengeful petty tyrant who wants to punish you for escaping her clutches. "And your little dog, too!!"

P.S.

[siderea]

None of which changes the ickiness of what you just put up with. ((hug?)) There's a lot of meanness and ambient viciousness out in the world right now. Mucho sympathy.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

What he said.

Sometimes the only thing to do is to make a clean break, say "screw it" to the old job and embrace the new one. You have things to look forward to now!

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine anyone being more polite and professional than you are. The people at your old (yay!) job are obviously deranged. I hope the new one will be a more comfortable fit, we'll look forward to happy stories... :-)

[warinbear.livejournal.com]

Nothing like a nice warm bubblebath for rinsing away Bad Vibes. 'Course, a <GreatBigBearHug(tm)> comes close, IMNAAHO -- have one, my treat.

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

They said this after you quit, I presume?

Two words: Sour grapes.

[ladysprite.livejournal.com]

Some of it was after, but most of it was before. Apparently I did and said a lot of things this weekend that I don't remember doing and saying, and I was.... strongly taken to task for them.

[98.livejournal.com]

Somehow I find myself trusting your memory more than the reports/accusations. I am sorry there is any wee part of your psyche ready to believe this nonsense about "rude and unprofessional". Congratulations on getting away from this place and best wishes for you in your new job.

Levi and Fratzi send puppy licks and snuggles to their dear net-vet.

[bardling.livejournal.com]

It feels how it feels. When your inner critic has that loud a voice it's sometimes difficult to hear any other feelings. At a guess - it will start feeling good once you start and things turn out to be like you're hoping.
*wishing you well*
You deserve a mutually supportive & friendly work environment!

[hawkegirl.livejournal.com]

Different groups of people just "fit" differently together. I'm sure all of us have a little "bad employee" in them and some "good employee" too (excpet perhaps mother teresa). I think it's really valuable if you can actually take the "negative" voice and try and listen to what's true about it (and shun the crap). It's likely to help with your future. Likewise, take some time to think about what was really good that you did also.

More then anything though, keep positive about the new place. It's quite possible it's just a "fit" issue. A different set of employees will offer a different fit for you, and likewise their clientelle the same. Not every person is a good patient for me, some are, some are not. Neither of us is "bad" or "wrong" we're just comming from such different places that working together is not in either of our best intrests. Same thing for other midwives I work with.

I don't know you very well, the most time we've spent together was the Midsummer nights dream play, but you seemed to be there when you were supposed to be, learned your lines (and songs) as best as you could, from that I feel like I can extrapolate you're probably not an ineffective employee, but probably just the situation didn't work so well for everyone.

I think it will feel good once you're really in there! Hang in there!

Just a random new client but...

[jiggliusceasar.livejournal.com]

You were wonderful and kitty loves you! And I want to know where you are now so i can schedule more appointments and get new drugs for Saru-chan to spit on the couch.

Go SuperVetWoman!

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the subject line; I just have to be the counterweight to sidestream offal (which, having heard your description of the place, is pretty clear what was diverted onto you in your "exit interview"). As others have said, this was just the out-of-the-door dose of bile you know rationally has nothing to do with your skills.

It's still hard to listen to, I know. Just snuggle up with the first frog you get to meet in your new job and ... Oh, I guess most frogs aren't snugglable. Make that the elasticized bundle of fur you meet in the next job.

[braider.livejournal.com]

Your soon to be ex-boss is poisonous. You've been poisoned, and it will take a bit to recover from that. Work really hard to believe that you *are* worthwhile, though - people will treat you as you expect to be treated. You are a good doctor and a great and likeable person. *hug*

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I know you're the good employee, and he was the bad boss. (And it was the horrible work environment.)

Set your mind at rest--the fairyland buys not this job from me!

[pamelina.livejournal.com]

Apparently nobody in the clinic likes me, because I am rude and unprofessional.

Snicker... yeah, like, that's why they gave you that swell surprise party, huh?

[mindways]

I thought this was supposed to feel good.

You're on-target for the second trapeeze. It'll feel good once you've caught it firmly.

*hug*

[rectangularcat]

Hi you don't know me. But I'm in the SCA and I found you through a comment from your laurel in cellio's LJ. Anyhow, I don't add people to my flsit much anymore as it already takes too much time to read them all.

But, I had to add you. *grins*

I've been in a hugely toxic environment before - it makes one do things that one would not normally do. Leaving it was the best thing I could do for myself. I'm still recovering from it years after. Take care of yourself OK?

Oh and from my user name... I am not cat crazy... ok just a little bit... but the rectangularcat isn't me, it's my cat..!

[spectoria.livejournal.com]

I really connect with what you are feeling. I decided to leave my marketing job because the work environment had just become ridiculous, but at the end I was a nervous wreak because I kept thinking "Maybe if I tried harder..." or "Maybe if I did this..." One criticism from my 'boss' was that I wasn't a 'team player' because I wasn't confident the NEW MANAGEMENT SYSTEM(fourth in 3 years)was going to be permanent and I wasn't comfortable setting up my MBO to show that I wanted to move into Product Management (I'm a writer, I wanted to just come to work and write). After I (voluntarily) left, they were forced to hire TWO temps to take on my workload and to this day have NEVER found anyone to take my old position and stay. Also, the NEW MANAGEMENT SYSTEM was FIRED six months after I left. Pretty funny, hey? Still, I occasionally find myself smarting over old wounds, so take my advice and go to a day spa and let someone massage away your current frustrations. Then start your new job with a happy, hopeful heart.

wise and wonderful Dr. Becky

[gmkieran.livejournal.com]

Glad you've left that place behind, luv! Let the volume of those who know you better than your co-workers ever will drown out the sourness of your last times there. All the best in the new job!!!

dream well!!!

Where are you working now?

[catchild.livejournal.com]

Would you please let me know where in Boston you are going to? I have a friend with a kitty and I would like to reccomend you to her as a vet for her fur baby.

[tafkad.livejournal.com]

Well, *I* like you, and *I* think you're perfectly capable of explaining things to laypeople without being patronizing.

I also remember you telling me that the things your boss did to you, were things you watched him doing to others who fled before you. You very specifically expressed your concern about your boss' management patterns to me *LONG* before you were singled out as the target.

Please consider yourself hugged, OK?