Circles of friendship
Nov. 6th, 2001 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyspriteWhen I lived here, before I moved away for grad school, there were people who were my friends. I thought about them, spent time with them, shaped my life in some way around them - they were in the circle of my friendship, and I was in theirs. When I moved away, I missed them, and I thought about them, and I just sort of assumed that when I came back I'd slide back into their circle like slipping back into an old, comfortable shoe.
And now that I'm back, I find that I'm met with awkwardness, and missed dates and cancelled gatherings and long email silences, and when I do see them it's clumsy and uncomfortable. Their circle closed around my absence, and there's no space for me there anymore. It's not a bad thing or a blame-thing, it's just how things work. And I can forge a new place in their circle, but it takes effort, and it's not quite the same.
There were also people who were... well, acquaintances. People I liked, and knew maybe as a friend-of-a-friend - we were both part of someone else's circle. We spent some time together, got to know each other, but I never thought we actually made it into each other's circles. And now that I'm back, suddenly I'm finding emails from them, excited that I'm back, so glad to hear from me, and wondering how soon we can get together and see each other again. When we weren't paying attention, our circles reshaped themselves together.
Live and learn.....
And now that I'm back, I find that I'm met with awkwardness, and missed dates and cancelled gatherings and long email silences, and when I do see them it's clumsy and uncomfortable. Their circle closed around my absence, and there's no space for me there anymore. It's not a bad thing or a blame-thing, it's just how things work. And I can forge a new place in their circle, but it takes effort, and it's not quite the same.
There were also people who were... well, acquaintances. People I liked, and knew maybe as a friend-of-a-friend - we were both part of someone else's circle. We spent some time together, got to know each other, but I never thought we actually made it into each other's circles. And now that I'm back, suddenly I'm finding emails from them, excited that I'm back, so glad to hear from me, and wondering how soon we can get together and see each other again. When we weren't paying attention, our circles reshaped themselves together.
Live and learn.....
